Happy Halloween! And Here are Some Babes.

Of course, the ultimate Halloween Babe has to be Elvira, Mistress of the dark.

Elviras Haunted Hits. I used to Own This Album. A Halloween tradition, back in my high school years.

Elvira, Mistress of the Dark. Now, Thats Some Halloween Spirit.

And a little More Elvira, Mistress of the Dark.

Cassandra Peterson when She's Not Busy Being Elvira. What a difference a wig makes, eh?

Rachel Weisz (of The Mummy and The Mummy Returns) all wrapped up with a snake. Shwing!

Rachel Weisz and Serpent Tempt Man to Sin.Can't forget Vampirella on Halloween. No, no indeed.

Some Nifty Halloween Costumes:

Halloween Chain Mail for that Special Hottie in Your life. And it's available from Amazon.com! Or was.

Samsung Leopard Lady again. Sweet.

Harry Potter anyone?

Expecto Patronum! Serpensortia! Tarantallegra! Would you like to touch my horcrux?

Speaking of Harry Potter, don’t forget the SNL skit with Lyndsay Lohan as Hermione. More later, if I got time. Laterz, Internetz, and Happy Halloween.

Dorothy Krysiuk is Leaving Fox 29

Not that I care, but apparently you people do. You’re searching a lot for her.

Dorothy Krysiuk. She is a Cutey.

 Apparently she dressed up as Marge Simpson for Halloween at some point. Pretty bitchin’.

Dorothy Krysiuk as Marge Simpson. Pretty hip.

 Apparently, she’s leaving Fox 29, because they wanted her to work 14 hour days. Can’t say I blame her, there.

Watch a video of Dorothy Giving The Traffic for Her Former Slave-Driving Masters:

Bikini Mate Teacher Tiffany Shepherd Fired For Being Super Hot

Tiffany Shepherd. Boy, I hope she didn’t dress like that to teach. I mean, sure, she’s teaching biology, but I wouldn’t have been able to concentrate if that chick was my teacher. That’s all I’m saying.

Tiffany Shepherd. Very MILFy.

Here is a video of Tiffany Shepherd on CNN complaining about being fired for Extreme Hotness:

Tiffany Shepherd Again. Like You Wouldn’t Tap That.

Now, that’s how you teach biology. Mmmhmm.

Searching for Pretty Fly for a White Guy?

Yes, I am Pretty McFly for a White Guy.

Thank you for noticing. If only I had me some grillz, baby.

If Only I had Me Some Grillz, Then I Would Be Super Fly.

I assume, in reality, you are looking for the 10 year old song by The Offspring. Why? I mean, it is pretty dope and phat, but why now?

Here’s the same video with the soundtrack from Weird Al’s “Pretty Fly for a Rabbi”:

BTW, Happy Samhain. And it’s a lovely day for the dead to return and walk the earth, too. Yeah, and it’s Halloween, too.

Happy Halloween! Trick 'r Treat and All That!

Kimberly Caldwell is Dating Somebody; Carol Anne Burger Is Not

Kimerbly Caldwell is Cute. That’s the Only Interesting Thing About This Story.

And she’s dating David Cook. Done.

Carole Anne Burger, Writer for Huffington Post, Commits Murder/Suicide Over Breakup With Lesbian Lover

In other news, writer for the Huffington Post Carole Anne Burger stabbed her lover 220 times and then comitted suicide. Ace of Spades sees it as indicative of the kind of people attracted to writing at the Huffington Post.

HuffPo wants to tell a different story than what apparently happened. Not sure what their motivation is, there, but murder/suicide seems the most likely answer here, so I’m not sure why they are speculating she was distraught after her partner she was in an apparently acrimonious separation from was found stabbed 220 times. Occam’s razor, my friends.

Super Politician, Barack Obama, Not Personally His Brother or Sisters Keeper.

In politics, Barack “I Am My Brother’s Keeper” Obama apparently is not his aunt’s keeper–or let’s hope not, for our sakes–as his aunt, Zeituni Onyango, was recently found living in a slum in Boston, with no help from the cash-flush Obama, but apparently she has to been told to keep quiet. This is on top of his half-brother, George Hussein Onyango Obama, who lives in a hut in Kenya.

Barack’s Brother, George Hussein Onyango Obama, is a Living Testament that Barack Wants To Share Your Wealth, Not His.

Boy, You People LOVE Yourself Some Obama

Obama Guaranteed To Win Election! 30 Minute Infomercial is Basically Meant Just to Rub It In

11 of the Top Google Searches as of 8:46 Central, October 29 are for Obama’s Fabulous New Product That Everybody is Talking About! It breaks down like this:

1. obama infomercial
2. obama commercial
4. obama tv
5. obama speech
6. obama 30 minute ad
8. obama infomercial october 29
9. obama prime time
10. obama tonight
16. obama broadcast
17. watch obama infomercial
20. obama address

Boy, Obama’s got you hypnotized. I mean, he’s really using advanced Neuro-Linguistic Programming Techniques to hypnotize you. Seriously. Conspiracy Central has more on the HypnObama.

I think it’s simpler. He’s promising to fix folks problems, and lots of people believe bullshizzle when it’s presented nice and sounds good and it confirms that their lives suck, all sorts of people have it better than them and that’s unfair, and he’s gonna fix it. 

He’s gonna change with hope and hope about change, and it’s going to magically make everything better. Awesome!

 

Barack Obama Is Gonna Bring Change We Can Believe In

He won’t. But we’ll have plenty of time to see if he just stagnates or fails massively. You can’t coax the economy with your charm, and you can’t use NLP to hypnotize terrorists from afar or make socialism work at home, when it has always failed, every time it’s tried. 

BTW, kudos to CNN for not running the Obama infomercial. They have a little more integrity there than I would have given them credit for. 

As linked to in the top image, AP has already decided that Obama has won. We can skip this stupid election formality and just coronate our new Glorious Leader.

ABC also passed, but said it was because of the trouble they would have filling the second half hour. They could have just had their news people comment on how brilliant Obama’s infomercial was. That’s what they’d typically do. Fortunately, 7 other networks agreed to run the ad for the Obamanizer and His New Wealth Redistribution Workout. Guaranteed to take unwanted weight from our wallets and your bank accounts, and trim excessively fatty jobs. 

The New York Times thinks the Obama Infomercial is the Greatest Thing Ever. To quote the great philosopher Gomer Pyle: “Surprise, Surprise, Surprise!”

Surprise, Surprise, Surprise! The MSM Loves The Obama Propaganda Special!

Not everybody thinks it’s a great idea, or that Obama is The Messiah. Just most people.

Obama’s Got a Infomerical, To Be Seen on 7 Networks

Obama has an infomercial, and he’s not trying to sell you an Abdominizer. It’ll be seen on 7 different networks. A great political strategy, I think. It’s after the debates, after most interviews, after most “scandals”, and gets to set the tone right before the election. This dude is a brilliant politician.

Obama has an infomercial, and it ain’t to sell Hartzmark suits. Doesn’t he look spiffy? Bet that cost a pretty penny.

And the fact that Ross Perot did a similar infomercial and probably took up to 10 points from H. W. Bush in the process is, no doubt, not lost on him.

Ross Perot Spells Out Obama Strategy With His Chart

Leah Walsh is Missing

Leah Walsh, pictured above, is missing.

Leah Walsh, a 29 year old school teacher from Long Island is missing. Long Island police have discovered a body, but have not yet identified if it is Leah Walsh or not. Here’s hoping it isn’t, and whoever did this gets caught.

Laterz, Internetz.

Looking for Carin Ashley? Can’t Say That I Blame You

Carin Ashley, Not Butt Naked but Close Enough

Though it’s depressing to think that she was born in 1983, when I was in junior high school. Which is now called middle school. But I digress. Here’s Carin Ashley’s Chickipedia entry.

This is Carin Ashley. She was born the year I was learning how to program in Microsoft Basic on my TRS-80 Color Computer. Sigh.

Carin is apparently a Playboy Special Editions model, whatever that means. Anyhoo, I’m guessing that’s why you are looking for her.

More Carin Ashley. Do you object?

Carin Ashley in a Slinky Black Dress. Awright, That's Enough for Now, Internetz.

Whose Nailin’ Paylin? That’s Why You’re Searching for Hustler.Com

Hustler.com has posted the first “episode” of Whose Nailin Paylin, there pornographic Sarah Palin parody, online. Which would explain why all you nasty Internetz are busy searching for “hustler.com”.

Lisa Ann as a Parody of Sarah Palin. She is All Right, I guess, But She Is No Sarah Palin. Sorry, Folks.

Keep in mind, to actually see it costs good money. Up to you if you want to spend it, but this is a money-making strategy, not a public service. In case you were wondering.

The cover for Hustlers Whose Nailin Paylin Video.

Obama Says Constitution is Fundamentally Flawed

Obama says there isn’t enough redistribution of wealth based on “economic justice”, i.e., race.

Hear about how are constitution is flawed from the horses mouth, so to speak:

Meanwhile, Palin hi-fives the Constitution:

Palin Rocks on SNL. She’s down with the Constitution Just Like it Is. She Thinks it’s both Phat and Dope.

More Obama on the Constitution of These United States:

I think we can say that the Constitution reflected an enormous blind spot in this culture that carries on until this day, and that the framers had that same blind spot. I don’t think the two views are contradictory to say that it was a remarkable political document that paved the way for where we are now, and to say that it also reflected the fundamental flaw of this country that continues to this day.

Leftist front groups like Media Matters are trying to downplay it, but it takes some awfully creative spinning. I don’t know how else you can interpret those statements except to say that Obama thinks the Constitution is flawed, was fine for what it did at the time but now needs to be fixed, changed, corrected for or tossed out.

More at Freedom’s Wings. Which I originally read as “Freedom Swings”, which I though was a cool blog title.

Ping Pong Robot? Finally, You Internetz Are Searching for Something Totally Awesome!

Not exactly what I was hoping for when I first say the phrase “Ping Pong Robot”, but still pretty darn cool. I want one.

Times of the Internet on Ping Pong Robot. Still not boring. Oh, hang on: I’ve found what you’re looking for. Topio, the Ping Pong Playing Robot!

Here’s the Official Tosy Robotics Site. More video on the Tosy Topio. Bad ass!

The bad news? It costs more than your house and your car put together. If you really need to practice the table tennis, this may be more affordable:

Robo-Pong, The Ping Pong Robot. All Hail Robo Pong!

Newgy sells The Robo-Pong. Pretty groovy. Prakttismate has one too, but it doesn’t look as cool and has a funknwagnalled-up name.

The Prakttismate has a video up. Not nearly as bad-ass as the Tosy Topio. And probably not that much cheaper.

Obama Is Only Going To Tax Rich People Making Over $250k

No, make that anyone making over $200k. No, wait, make that anybody making over $150k. No, wait, make that . . . 

The New Official American Currency, After the Ascension of The Obama

And he’s letting the Bush tax cuts expire so, everybody’s taxes go up. But that’s not really a tax increase.

And, after all, he’s only raising taxes on rich people who make more than $65k per year.

The Hobbit Movie: 3D or Imax?

J. R. R. Tolkien’s classic novel, The Hobbit, is getting the big screen treatment once again. Guillermo Del Toro leaves open the possibility that it might be in 3D and/or Imax.

Bilbo Baggins from the Rankin Bass Hobbit Movie.

Cold Iron Blog on the Hobbit. Just cuz. Recent Hobbit Movie news from TheOneRing.net here.

 

Ian Holm as Bilbo Baggins Gets His Smoke On

Lots of good audio versions of The Hobbit available. Here’s one.

…

Three Rings for the Elven-kings under the sky,
Seven for the Dwarf-lords in their halls of stone,
Nine for Mortal Men doomed to die,
One for the Dark Lord on his dark throne
In the Land of Mordor where the Shadows lie.
One Ring to rule them all, One Ring to find them,
One Ring to bring them all and in the darkness bind them
In the Land of Mordor where the Shadows lie.

— J R R Tolkien

Could You Be More Boring at 5:45 AM, Central Time?

“Infield Fly Rule” is the top search? Endometriosis? “Dead Leaves”? Tucker Bounds? Eris Quod Sum?

You’re still looking for that Jenny Rivera porno. No video de sexo. Hablas Ingles? Give it a break. She’s not that cute. Who cares?

Huh. “Dead Leaves” is some kind of horrible, acid-trip anime. Okay, maybe you’re more interesting than I thought, Internetz. But not in a good way.

Endometriosis is a common medical condition “characterized by growth beyond or outside the uterus of tissue resembling endometrium, the tissue that normally lines the uterus“. Eww. Women are gross.

Ah. Eris Quod Sum (Latin for “I Am What You Will Be”) was the title of last nights episode of Heroes.

Eris Quod Sum? Latin for: What Be You I Am Will Do Onions.

The Infield Fly Rule is meant to prevent unfair gamesmanship by the fielders that would result in and easy double or triple play. Apparently it was an issue in Philly last night.

You’re also searching for McCain campaign spokesman, Tucker Bounds. Can’t quite figure out why.  Not really that interested. 

You’re also searching for info on spontaneous human combustion. Apparently, there was a show on the Discovery Channel about it last night. Damn, I missed it. Looks good. Some speculate that spontaneous human combustion is caused by Alien Radio Waves. You better believe it, baby.

More on the other interesting search this morning in a few minutes, Internetz.