Playboy Model Jasmine Fiore Killed By Crazy Husband

Jasmine Fiore and Murderous Husband Ryan Jenkins

Shades of Dorothy Stratten. Jasmine Fiore’s husband, Ryan Jenkins, killed her, apparently. Then comitted suicide himself. Apparently.

The Lovely Jasmine Fiore

Rest in Peace, Jasmine Fiore. Murderous husband Ryan Jenkins? Not so much.

Carrie Prejan Won’t Appear in Playboy, Despite Losing Her Crown

She got fired by Donald Trump (oh, the irony!) because she wouldn’t meet her contractual obligations.

Prejean Looks Kinda Like a Mannequin

But, despite having a few racy photos out there on the internet, she won’t pose in Playboy.

Carrie Prejeans "Racy" Photo

In other news, Felicia Day is cool.

The obsess over her on Big Kev’s Geek Stuff, a podcast I’ve come to enjoy, and so I thought I’d offer a few pics of Felicia Day, just to mix it up.

Felicia is Smokin’ Hot, I Gotta Admit.

Sassy!

She also did a little something called Dr. Horrible’s Sing-a-Long Blog. Have you heard of it?

Felicia Day is Ultra-Hot with Uber Geek Cred. The perfect woman, in other words.

She also does The Guild. Her geek cred is top notch.

Gluten Free Diets

You’re all suddenly excited about gluten free diets.  So, watch the video here.

Elizabeth Hasselbeck Just Says No to Gluten

I guess you can still look pretty healthy and not eat gluten. I’m just not sure about these crazy diets, that’s all I’m saying. You’re a nut, Elizabeth. A nut!

In other news,  Ida Ljungquist formally took the Playmate of the Year Crown. That’s quite a mouthful of name for a Playmate of the year, but there ya go.

She’s cute enough, I suppose, but I’m not impressed. 12 months of Playmates and she’s really the best they could do? Much better in the 80s.

Yes, you heard me right. Much better in the 80s. Like Marianne Gravatte, for one. Link Not Safe for Work, BTW. You’ve been warned, don’t complain to me.

Marianne Gravatte was 80s Hot. Puts today’s so-called Playmates of the Year to shame.

Looking for Carin Ashley? Can’t Say That I Blame You

Carin Ashley, Not Butt Naked but Close Enough

Though it’s depressing to think that she was born in 1983, when I was in junior high school. Which is now called middle school. But I digress. Here’s Carin Ashley’s Chickipedia entry.

This is Carin Ashley. She was born the year I was learning how to program in Microsoft Basic on my TRS-80 Color Computer. Sigh.

Carin is apparently a Playboy Special Editions model, whatever that means. Anyhoo, I’m guessing that’s why you are looking for her.

More Carin Ashley. Do you object?

Carin Ashley in a Slinky Black Dress. Awright, That's Enough for Now, Internetz.

Searching for Sandi Taylor? Sandra Taylor? Was She on Howard Stern?

You folks are interested in Sandi Taylor this morning, otherwise known as Sandra Taylor. Was she on Howard Stern or something? Whatever, I can’t blame you for your innocent and completely academic interest.

You pipples are very interested in Sandi Taylor this morning. Can’t say that I blame you.

An interview video with Sandra Taylor:

More of Sandi (or Sandra) Taylor. She is a cutie. I can see why you're looking for her.

More on Sandra Taylor. Shweet!

A little more. Sandra Taylor’s MySpace Page.

Will You Be Her Valentine? Who could refuse an offer like that?Sandra Likes Sports.Sandi Taylor Likes basketballs.Happy New Year from Sandi Taylor

 

Sandra Likes Sports.

Sandi Taylor Likes basketballs.

Walker, Texas Ranger, To Kick Butt At Furman

He’s here to kick ass and chew gum. And he’s all out of gum.

Chuck Norris as Walker, Texas Ranger

Chuck is going to speak at Furman University.

Here are some facts you should know about Chuck Norris:

Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because he only recognizes the element of surprise. 

There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Chuck Norris has allowed to live.

Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.

Chuck Norris can lead a horse to water AND make it drink.

Chuck Norris doesn’t wear a watch, HE decides what time it is.

More at ChuckNorrisFacts.com. 

You’re still searching on Hugh Hefner’s latest cradle robbing, Karissa and Kristina Shannon.

 

The Shannon Twins, Supposedly. I don't think it looks like them. They look a lot older. But, cute twins, nonetheless.

Also, you folks are exhibiting an unusual interest in Independent Development Accounts, or IDAs. More on IDAs here.

Basically, it’s free money for poor people to help them buy stuff. The sort of thing that helped lead to our current financial crisis. Fortunately, the website I went to said they weren’t currently taking applications for that IDA. “Program Is Full”. 

Wonder why.

Nailin’ Paylin, The Sarah Palin Themed Porno, Goes Forward

And, apparently there’s a script. Who knew these things had scripts? And, um, why, exactly, do they have scripts?

“Do I support the porn industry in our country, and our hard working porno worker? You betcha!”

Never mind that. Thanks to commentor Condi-Hill for the update.

Hugh Hefner remains popular, as you folks search for his former wife (the one that broke poor Hef’s heart!), Kimberly Conrad.

Kimberly Conrad. The Former Mrs. Hugh Hefner. Wonder Why It Didn't Work Out.

You’re also searching for another Hugh Hefner conquest, Holly Madison. What’s up with you people? Look, you aren’t Hugh Hefner. You will never be Hugh Hefner. Ever. You’re life will never be anything like Hugh Hefner’s. Not even close. Give it up. Now.

Hugh and Holly Madison. Like Dolly Madison, Only I Don’t Think Holly Madison Is Interested in Politics.

In other news, Peter Cook, who was married to Christie Brinkley, will make his case on 20/20 to why it was such a good idea to have an affair with his 18 year old office worker Diana Bianchi while married to Christie Brinkley. Should be a hoot!

Poor Peter Cook was Forced to be Married to Super-Model Christie Brinkley. How Could He Stand It? What Terrible Injustice He Suffered!

Finally, as is appropriate in this economic climate, the government has started printing zero dollar bills. Ones, Fives, Twenties and Fifties can be exchanged for the new denomination at no cost.

It's the Zero Dollar Bill. Finally, Currency that Reflects the Markets.

Nancy Benoit Loses Suit Over Nekkedness. Plus Tina Brown, Gena O’Kelley, and Lori Delgado. And the National Debt.

Nancy Benoit. She’s Cute Enough, I Guess.Nancy Benoit took some boudoir pictures, but wanted to keep ’em away from prying eyes like yours.In other news, apparently thirteen year old twins aren’t enough for Hugh Hefner. He also has a purient interest in Amy Lee Andrews.Apparently, Twins are Not Enough for Hugh Hefner, and he’s also adding Amy Lee Andrews to his personal stable.

You’re also unusually interested in Chuck Norris’s wife this afternoon. She has a name, people. That would be Gena O’Kelley. She’s cute enough, but I’m not sure why you’re searching her out this fine day.

Chuck Norris Doesn’t Have a Wife. He has a Queen, his co-regent in the Kingdom of Chuck.

You’re also back on about the Bianco Golden thing again. America’s Top Model? Seriously? Yawn.

The same with Lori Delgado. Double Yawn.

Lori Delgado Quits. Lawsuit. Boring. Next.

You folks are also interested in the national debt clock. Look, just don’t go there. It’s depressing. Gallup has Obama getting a bounce from the last presidential debate. No surprise, since McCain game off as a grumpy, bitter old senator.

Some folks out there are saying that Prudential (Stock Ticker: PRU) is a buy. Um, an insurance company? In the current market? Is a buy? Look, it’s your money, but I suggest you either invest it in baseball cards or just put it in your mattress.

Lots of you are searching, again, for The Daily Beast. They must really be promoting themselves, getting you suckers to keep looking them up on The Google, in hopes of becoming the next Huffing-and-Puffington Post. Good luck to them on that. I already think the layout of the site kinda sucks.

The Daily Beast is the brainchild of one Tina “Tedious” Brown, who also came up with the amazingly suck-tacular also-ran of an elitist gossip/political rag called Talk Magazine. Despite plenty of shameless self-promotion and general whoring on behalf of the magazine by Teeny Brown, it died a well-deserved and hopefully painful death less that two years after it’s “auspicious” debut. And, by “auspicious”, I mean the New York and DC cocktail club, limousine-liberal circuit liked it, and nobody else. I speak from experience, as the shameless self-promotion convinced some mistaken soul to buy me a subscription to this travesty in paper and ink. All I have to say after having read several issues was: ugh. And subsequent issues found their way immediately to the circular file.

Twins Karissa and Kristina Shannon Move In With Hugh Hefner

 

Karissa and Kristina Shannon. Meh. They

Hugh Hefner has found himself a set of twins. Good for Hef. Ya know, I think he might finally be ready to settle down. You know, start a family.

Not to be judgemental or anything, but they look like they just turned 17. 

Or here, they look like they just turned 12:

 

Kristina and Karissa Look Like Their About 13 Years Old. Can't Hef Find A Woman At Least Half His Age?

Apparently, Hugh spent a lot of time nursing an unrequieted love for the Olsen Twins, and this is the best he can do right now.

At least this time, it looks like Hef has finally found true love.

Who Is Sarah Vowell, And Why Is The Internets Looking For Her and Her Wordy Shipmates?

Sure, Sarah Vowell is Cute In Her Own Way. But She Has Another Identity.

Sarah Vowell is of Interest to the Internets Tonight. Why is that? Could it be Because of Sarah Vowell’s Other Life?

Sarah Vowell is the voice of Violet. In the Best Movie Ever.

That’s Right. She’s also Violet Parr, from The Incredibles. And what a great vocal performance she turned in. In one of my favorite movies of all time. So whatever you’re all on about tonight, Internets, your intentions better be pure. That’s all I’m saying.

Apparently, you are innocently interested in Vowell’s recent book, The Wordy Shipmates. Good going, Internets. I’m proud of you.

Up and coming in the searching department is Tegan and Sara.

Um, not to jump to conclusions, but Tegan and Sara look like they'd be home in flannel shirts and baseball caps. Like they like to play a little bit of softball. Like they prefer action movies to chick flicks. If you know what I mean.

Canadian Singer-Songwriters Tegan and Sara . . . zzzzz . . . sorry, I fell asleep there. What were we talking about?

Oh. Right. Nothing.

Suzanne Malveaux is pretty cute. Seriously, that's all I know about her. That, and that she works for the Communist News Network.

Suzanne Malveaux is also a person of interest. I’m sure it has something to do with the debates, but I can’t figure out what. Maybe this?

Well, I’m tired Internets. The Internets may never sleep, but I gotta. Good night.

Well, except for this.

Spank Heidi Strobel. She Wants You To.

BTW, I’ve so far posted about 50 things to me blog (yes, I mean to say “me”), and I gotta say, you folks continue to show an unhealthy interest in Heidi Strobel. What is it about her? I mean . . .

Heidi Strobel. You Folks on the Internets Sure Do Like Her.

Okay, she’s cute. I get that. But, beyond that . . . I’m not so sure. Do you Internets suspect she’s going to cure cancer or something? She’s in the Playguy magazine with some other chick, so I guess that’s it. Well, stay classy, Internets. Stay classy.

Heidi Strobel Looking Strobelicious..

Okay then. More Heidi Strobel. Just to make you happy.

Heidi Strobel Poses With Some Other Chick in Playboy. Like That's Never Happened Before.

Now, that’s it. Enough with the Heidi and the Strobel and the Strobeliciousness and typing things like Hedie Stroble or Hiede Stroebl for the misspellers out there. I gotta go to bed. Seriously. Now. G’night.

Snowboarding on the USS Grunion

The USS Grunion. Ain’t Exactly Pretty.

You Internets is sure interested in the USS Grunion.  What an unpleasant name for a piece of military hardware. Sank in 1942, she was discovered i the Berring Sea in 2006. A memorial is planned.

On the other hand, I know why you’re all into and over those Burton Snowboards. Cuz they got Playboy models all over ’em.

Burton’s New Snowboard Line Features Sexy Ladies. And What’s Wrong With That? Much Better than Featuring Grunions.

 

In other news, David Zucker’s American Carol is out today. David Zucker did the original Airplane! and Top Secret! and a bunch of other classic 80s and 90s parodies. If you’re a right wing nut job, then you should find it funny. If you’re a left wing nut job, I’m predicting you won’t like it and plan on spamming Rotten Tomatoes with negative ratings and reviews, sight unseen.

John Voight ain’t trying to look like he’s Angelina Jolie’s Grandmother. He’s George Washington, ya dumb arses. And Kelsey Grammer is Patton.

And since Voight is Angelina Jolie’s papa, why not include a pic of her, too? Sounds Good to me.

Angelina Jolie. Perpetually hot.