Who Is Sarah Vowell, And Why Is The Internets Looking For Her and Her Wordy Shipmates?

Sure, Sarah Vowell is Cute In Her Own Way. But She Has Another Identity.

Sarah Vowell is of Interest to the Internets Tonight. Why is that? Could it be Because of Sarah Vowell’s Other Life?

Sarah Vowell is the voice of Violet. In the Best Movie Ever.

That’s Right. She’s also Violet Parr, from The Incredibles. And what a great vocal performance she turned in. In one of my favorite movies of all time. So whatever you’re all on about tonight, Internets, your intentions better be pure. That’s all I’m saying.

Apparently, you are innocently interested in Vowell’s recent book, The Wordy Shipmates. Good going, Internets. I’m proud of you.

Up and coming in the searching department is Tegan and Sara.

Um, not to jump to conclusions, but Tegan and Sara look like they'd be home in flannel shirts and baseball caps. Like they like to play a little bit of softball. Like they prefer action movies to chick flicks. If you know what I mean.

Canadian Singer-Songwriters Tegan and Sara . . . zzzzz . . . sorry, I fell asleep there. What were we talking about?

Oh. Right. Nothing.

Suzanne Malveaux is pretty cute. Seriously, that's all I know about her. That, and that she works for the Communist News Network.

Suzanne Malveaux is also a person of interest. I’m sure it has something to do with the debates, but I can’t figure out what. Maybe this?

Well, I’m tired Internets. The Internets may never sleep, but I gotta. Good night.

Well, except for this.

Spank Heidi Strobel. She Wants You To.

BTW, I’ve so far posted about 50 things to me blog (yes, I mean to say “me”), and I gotta say, you folks continue to show an unhealthy interest in Heidi Strobel. What is it about her? I mean . . .

Heidi Strobel. You Folks on the Internets Sure Do Like Her.

Okay, she’s cute. I get that. But, beyond that . . . I’m not so sure. Do you Internets suspect she’s going to cure cancer or something? She’s in the Playguy magazine with some other chick, so I guess that’s it. Well, stay classy, Internets. Stay classy.

Heidi Strobel Looking Strobelicious..

Okay then. More Heidi Strobel. Just to make you happy.

Heidi Strobel Poses With Some Other Chick in Playboy. Like That's Never Happened Before.

Now, that’s it. Enough with the Heidi and the Strobel and the Strobeliciousness and typing things like Hedie Stroble or Hiede Stroebl for the misspellers out there. I gotta go to bed. Seriously. Now. G’night.

Mike Bocchetti? BP Capital? XM Radio Online? R U Siruis?

 

R U Sirius? See? That’s a pun. Proves I’m funny. But, Mike Bocchetti? I got no idea who he is right now, Internets, but what am I guessing it has something to do with stupid football again?

No, not footballs. Mike Bocchetti is a comedian who was on Howard Stern. You are all listening to Howard Stern and then Googling Mike Bocchetti? You people are so weird. 

I’m guessing XM Radio Online is also about Howard Stern? I guess I should be glad you peoples are off the Nancy-frumpin-Pelosi. But Howard Stern? Bah.

You folks looking for BP Capital must be planning on getting out. That’s taking a nose dive. And you think the Wind Power Driven Clean Energy Brain of T. Boone Pickens is all that. I guess you had better think again.

Wind Power. Yeah, baby. Love me some Thomas Dolby. Don’t try and guess my age from that. You don’t know. Don’t judge me.

I’m glad to see you Internet foolz trying to smarten your brains up. You’ve been studying up on The Smoot Hawley Tariff Act. Look at you, trying to learn things. But don’t try to blame all this that’s going on now on poor Herbert Hoover. He’s always gotten a bad rap.

Why the sudden interesting in Heidi Strobel? Was she on TV last night or something? Or . . . just in your dreams?

Yeah, She’s Cute. But Will She look as good as Heather Locklear when she’s 47, high on drugs, and recently arrested? I don’t think so.

Britney Spears Sex Tape is back in the top 20! Just when I think you Internets are getting all political and boring on me, you restore my faith in the humanity. And just so you know: To Serve Man? It’s a cookbook.

Oh, now I get it. There’s some news on the memetic pipes about a certain Adnad Ghalib, some Arab-Muslim sounding Barack Obama supporter who videotaped himself doing the nasty with Britney Spears.

The video ain’t out there yet. He wants to sell it, to make him some moolah. So stop looking, peoples. Unless you gots a cool half-mil to buy it, might as well go back to looking for Nancy-frumpin-Pelosi.

The Googles says you all want to know about Janet Jackson Being Hospitalized. It’s true. No, it was not a wardrobe malfunction. She had a funk attack, and the doctors say she’s suffered a potentially fatal reduction in soulfulness. Her supervising physician, Dr. Dre, said Janet would recover completely, but was corrected by a representative for the singer who stated that he would have to refer to her as “Ms. Jackson, if you’re nasty”. Get well soon, Janet. We peoples on the Internets miss you much. We really miss you much.

You’re looking for a Black Betty Baseball Bat? How many of you are really looking for that? I’m not even going to try and find a link, that’s just silly. What are all you Internets up to out there?

The definition of LIBOR is “London Inter-Bank Offer Rate”. Hope that helps you get smarter about the economics, but if you keep electing Republicrats I don’t think you’re actually any smarter. Vote Whig in 2008, and show Washington Who’s The Boss!

And why are you looking for stinkhorn mushrooms? I don’t trust that. I think you’re being gross.

All right. You aren’t looking for her right now, but you know what? You should. She’s, like, fifty-something years old and still super cute. Who am I talking about? Karen Allen. Babe for all eternity. She also sells really expensive scarves.

Is Karen Allen Permanently Babe-a-Liscious or What? What was Indiana Jones thinking, foolin' around with Kate Capshaw?

 More soon, you crazy, fickle internets, you!