You Want the Tax Cut Facts? Democrats Will Raise Your Taxes. Period.

Try The CATO Institute. If you’re looking for TaxCutFacts.Org, the site set up by the Obama campaign that, surprisingly, finds that Obama has the better tax plan, well, you know where to find it. And about how far you can trust it.

 

Kinda says it all. And so pithy, too.

The reality is, Democrats don’t every cut taxes. Period. 

 

All Hail Obama. Surrender your wallets.

This guys isn’t going to, either. While a rational person isn’t going to be rooting for higher taxes on the folks who hire people, build businesses, and purchases services and products from other businesses that help keep the real world running–the rational person also recognizes that the reality is, with Obama, you aren’t going to get a tax cut. You aren’t. Democrats do not cut taxes. Ever.

Bill Clinton promised a middle-class tax cut. During the campaign.

What happened with that? Oh, that’s right. It didn’t.

 

Yes We Can. Raise Your Taxes. Ha-ha, Fooled You!

I mean, there will be a good reason. Some sort of spin. A really great reason that, even though more taxes are disappearing from your paycheck and your 401k has just been unilaterally taken over by Big Brother, you somehow got a tax cut, even though you’re getting less money. It really was a tax cut. Only, the extra service charges and hidden fees and special deductions and other things mean, yes, you are technically getting less money now. But Obama still gave you that middle-class tax cut. That somehow cost you money.

Or, maybe it’s that Biden emergency. After that generated crisis Biden talked about, things are too dire. Everybody must understand that, even though we go through with the tax increases, we can’t do the tax cuts now. Not with this crisis.

 

Obama Gonna Pwn all You Noobs and Your Moneys.

 

 

McCain’s tax cuts might not sound as good as Obama’s, but they are much more likely to actually show up. Not a guarantee–McCain ain’t exactly a rock-ribbed Reagan conservative. But more likely.

What is a guarantee, that, if you work–and I mean, work much at all–the Democrats will take more of your money from you. The Bush tax cuts will expire. The Democrats will come up with programs that “cut” your taxes while taking more “investments” out of your paychecks.

How do I know this? Because they will. They cannot help it. Taking more of your money is a congenital condition with Democrats. It’s not something they can stop, except by becoming Republicans. And often, not even that will do it.

What if the Presidential Candidates were the Cast of Gilligan’s Island?

Here ya go:

I like it. I’m not sure that Obamarama is fit to fill the Professor’s shoes–I’ve never seen him make a radio out of two bamboo shoots and some coconuts–but otherwise, dead on. Cool beans.

 I don’t think Obama is really the Professor. But he’s not really Gilligan, either. May he’s more like Ginger–a moviestar!–than The Professor. Either way, any excuse is a good excuse to bring up Gilligan’s Island.

Who Won the Vice Presidential Debate? The Nucular Option.

I already toldya. Sarah Palin crumped her way into America’s heart, then ended Joe Biden’s career by busting rhyme after rhyme on his old self.

But you keep searching for it. Like The Google will tell you the truth. I’m telling you. I know. 

 

Palin Wins the VP Debate By Being A Better Human Being, and Ten Times Hotter.

Of course, all the Instra-tracking polls give it to Biden. They got no sense. 

Palin won. The New York Post Intelligentser Tribune Times gets it right.

Also, seems you don’t care for Palin’s left-baiting pronunciation of “nuclear” as “nucular“. 

“Oh, she doesn’t speak good like we do. She’s stupid.“

Seriously. Get over yourselves. She’s a cutey. You wouldn’t want your best friend’s hot mom as president? I would.

Recent interest in Talabani seemed to come and go on the fickle Internets. Debate related? I missed it, if so. Same with searches for Bozniak, that peaked an hour or so ago and then dropped like a rock. That’s because Joe Biden said it and you didn’t believe him. Poor Joe Biden. A little plagiarism, and nobody believes you any more.

Also, searches for General McClellan apparently come from the debate too. I thought you Internets had just spontaneously developed an interest in Civil War history. You disappoint me again.

You’re also searching for the 1932 election. Looking for this PuffHo piece? Let me summarize it: you keep your money is bad, give it to us liberals and we’ll spend it on important sweet things and that’s good, and the economy wouldn’t be in the terrible shape its in if only the government had been taking more of your money all this time.

You whacky liberals. Sad that you’re probably going to win the Beauty Contest this year. But victoriousness is Fleeting. Fleet like the enema.

You’re also searching a lot right now for Lost in Space. Danger, Will Robinson. Danger!

John McCain and P.J. O’Rourke in Love Triangle With Amy Lumet?

Did John McCain and P.J. O’Rourke do a three-way with Sidney Lumet’s daughter, Amy Lumet?

Amy Lumet Apparently Confused The Oscars with the Golden Globes.

Um, could you blame them?

Unattributable.com aludes to it here.

In other news, what’s in The London Telegraph that has you Internets all excited? I don’t see nuthin’.

And you’re apparently very interesting the the Vice Presidential Debate Time. So ya know, it’s 9 PM Eastern. 8 PM Central. 7 PM Mountain time. 6 PM Pacific Daylight. There, are ya happy now?

BTW, Palin wins the debate. I’ve been to the future and seen it.

Sarah Palin Wins the Debate! Hands Down! Biden Crawls off Stage in Shame!

Sarah Palin Wins the Debate! Victory for Sarah Palin! I Remain in Love.

How do I know this? Because I have been to the future. I’m not saying how I got there, but it went a little something like this:

I Came Here in a Time Machine that You Invented. Now I need Your Help to Get Back to the Year 1985. Sigh. If only. If only.

Basically, here’s how it broke down. Gwen Iffel asked the candidates how they felt race was affecting the election. Biden said, “Hey, now, I’m more racially sensitive than anybody. In fact, I challenge Mizz Palin to a break-dancing competetion, right here, right now.”

So, Sarah jumped over the lectern like a superhero and spun, flipped, and jammed for a full two minutes, shaming Biden. He then challenged her to some crumping, but his crumping was old and stale, and Palin’s crumping was fluid and dynamic and the audience cheered. Finally, Biden said they should end it all now with a poetry slam. Well, Palin slammed rhyme after rhyme, and old Joe just couldn’t keep up.

Finally, he conceded defeat, and Gwen Iffel ended the debate by telling everybody to read about all that just happened in her new book, coming out on Obama’s inaugaration day. Then she began accepting pre-orders.

Just one caveat. I don’t think it happened, but it is possible that my little trip to the future took me to an alternate universe, instead of our exact future. But there was still the big mortgage crisis with Frosty Mug and Freaky Moo, and the New Amsterdam Stock Exchange was still way down. But, if it was an alternate reality, then . . . nevermind.

The Late, Great Gilda Radner as Emily Litella. Right on Violins on Television. Right about the Eagle Rights Amendment. Right for Vice President.