Skylar Deleon Killed People With a Yacht. Update: Jury Says, “Death to All Power Rangers!”

 Or, apparently, killed some people on a yacht. And I thought it was a case of “murder by yacht”. That would be worthy of your interest. This is just kinda Milli-Vanilli sad.

Probably Not Skylare Deleon, But a Power Ranger None-the-less.

Skylar Deleon used to be a Power Ranger. He used to fight for good. Apparently, all that changed and he and his pregant wife and some folks conspired to murder some rich people with a yacht. Good thinking, Skylar! What a great way to get out of a dire financial situation. Goofball.

This is Skylar Deleon. And his murderous wife, Jennifer. This was probably her idea. It's always the woman, provoking man to evil. Adam and Eve. That's all I'm saying.

Bumped Update (11/7/08): Jury Hands down a Death Sentence for Skylar. He should have kept fighting for justice. He was the star of Power Rangers, you know. He actually helped create the show. Plus, at one time he was a real life super-hero. And ran for president of the United States. Almost won. And he was one thousand feet tall. And had a big blue Ox named ‘Murder One’.

Update: TruTV Did a show on the Skylar Deleon Case. You want full information, check that, and Wikipedia on Skylar Deleon. Okay. My work is done here.

Update2: Skylar Deleon was not technically a Power Ranger. He was an extra on the show once. Not even a speaking part. He was not literally a Power Ranger, except possibly at Halloween. And people on the internet are very concerned that the “record be set straight” on that issue. But it’s not because they are fanboys without lives or anything. It’s because they are utterly and completely clueless. I mean, it’s breathtaking. Now, back to the original post . . .

Again, you are searching for the “commercial paper“. In short, commercial paper is an unsecured promissory note with a fixed maturity of one to 270 days. Banks trade them to other banks and businessess to keep the business world afloat, and when there’s no commercial paper, and businesses and banks are used to doing business with easily borrowed money, business stops and bad things happen to the economy. Or it becomes more expensive to do business, and businesses have to find more expensive ways to get money. As an individual or a small business, there ain’t no commercial paper for you. There never was and there never will be. Go away. There ya go. Glad to help.

You’re also searching about your right to vote. How very civic minded of you, Internets. You’re also searching a lot on “presidential debate oct 7“. I’m so glad that you’re participating in our participatory Democracy. Vote for the ticket with the hot chick on it. That’s all I’m saying.

You’re also searching for Margaret Haddican McEnroe.

Margaret Haddican-McEnroe is Missing. Find her, and you’ll get some money.

She’s been missing since October, 2006. Good luck to them, and you Internets. It’s bad when someone goes missing, but 2 years is a long time to be gone.

Finally, a good place to get medical supplies. Cuz I work with ’em. There ya go.

Laterz, Internets.

You Internets Is So Crazy, Seriously

Suddenly a big deal? Amber Hagerman. She of the Amber Alert. Man, that is a tragic story. But why the sudden interest? Could it have something to do with Kelsey Peterson? You know, the teacher who recently “ran away” with her 13 year old lover? 

Seriously, where were these chicks when I was growing up? I knew guys who fantasized about it, but it never happened. Why are these teacher chicks so crazy now? I blame the Internets. All sorts of stuff has gone crazy since the Internets.

Speaking of the fantasies, all-of-the-sudden-like all of you are interested in Sarah Shahi. Can’t say that I’m blaming you.

 

You guys are all interested in the Sarah Shahi tonight? Yes, she is quite lovely.

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You weirdos really want to know about the Vril Society. Why? Doesn’t look like you ever cared about it before. Somehow, I’m sure there’s some sort of leftist kook conspiracy crap at the bottom of this one. I’m sure I’ll be delighted to learn the awful truth of it.

But on the Inter-Tubes tonight is . . . uh, ArginMax. Well, you cheeky little devils. Wanting to boost the girlfriend or wife’s sex drive, presumably by hiding some ArginMax in that killer Kung Pao you’re fixing her up. Well, best of luck with that. Unless the woman is already a bit randy, she’s not likely to be taking that stuff voluntarily–she don’t miss her sex drive, you do, you horny bastard. You selfish horny bastard. Best of luck hiding it in her food, like a fellow trying to feed a heartworm pill to a stubborn pooch. Yeah, I know what you’re up to, you crazy Internets. I know you cold.

Sarah Shahi is not interested in eating your brownies you made her special. Trust me.

In addition to trying a slip a little Spanish Fly to your womenfolk, you people are all a tizzy over John Harbaugh.

Seriously, what is up with you Internets peoples and the football? I’m lost. That’s what I mean when I’m saying you’re crazy. It just ain’t that interesting. Is it? I’m reading about the Harbaugh now, who I had never heard of, and I’m getting sleepy. 

You are also all crazy like over The Gilliand Ranch, because it’s about UFOs and stuff. That’s my Art Bell, Coast-to-Coast AM late night freakies I’m expecting from the Internets this time of night.

Youse guys is also very interesting in mark-to-market accounting. Look, it ain’t that complicated. It means companies have to say something is worth what is actually worth that day instead of what it might be worth at some point down the road. There are good reasons for this, many stemming from the Enron scandal (thanks to Sarbanes-Oxley, the problem is mark-to-market is making accurate valuations of certain financial instruments very tough, thus contributing the current financial crisis . . . you know, maybe it is more complicated than I was thinking. Look it up on the Wikipedia. They know everything there!

Also look up commercial paper there, in case you were wondering about that.

Here’s Sarah Shahi again:

Yes, this was necessary. Very, very necessary. Not gratuitous at all. How else will you understand the true Sarah Shahi?

You’re interested in Life TV right now? And why? No, don’t tell me, you never make sense anyway.

 

Heather Locklear: 47 Years Old, on Drugs, Arrested, No Makeup, Been Crying and . . . Still Looks Way Better Than You

 

Speaking of TV, no love on the Internets for Heather Locklear and her mugshot? Are you just jealous that she’s 47, high, been out partying all night, just got busted, is getting her mugshot made by the friendly LA police people, and she looks better than you do after spending a day at the salon? Yeah, well, sorry, but she does. And that’s just the ugly truth of it, Internets.

But you do like 17 Kids and Counting. Good for you. I prefer Jon and Kate Plus Eight.

More in five minutes. Be more patient, Internets.