Madonna Is Becoming An Anatomical Chart: Look at Those Biceps

Madonna is beginning to look a little like a medical anatomical chart.  Take a look at her and those biceps. Sheesh.

Madonna has some biceps on her. Yes, she does.

Here’s a close-up of her. Yeow!

Oh, dear. She's ripped, yes, but not in a good way.

Joe Jonas Marries Camilla Belle, Begins Plot for World Domination

Nah, it’s just rumored they’re dating. And man, does she have the Brooke Shield’s eyebrows going on or what?

Camilla Belle Loves Joe Jonas Long Time. All Teenage Girls on Entire Planet Mourn.

Seriously. Compare the eyebrows.

Brooke Shields had the Eyebrows. Remind you of Camilla Belle? It Does Me.

Camilla Belle’s Wikipedia entry. Already on top of the rumors. Gotta love the Wikipedia. And, to be fair, Brooke Shields on the Wikipedia.

Cannot Say I Blame Joe Jonas. If I was a World Renowned Young and Famous Rockstar, I Would Certainly Tap That.

Oh, yeah, here’s Joe Jonas. He does music or something.

Joe Jonas. Apparently he sings or delivers groceries or something.

You know, Joe Jonas has quite the bushy pair of eyebrows, too. Maybe that’s why he and Camilla hooked up. Eyebrow symmetry.

…

Speaking of classic eyebrows, we must always pay our respects to Madonna, the Queen of Sexy, Bushy Eighties Eyebrows:

Madges Eyebrows Plan Their Conquest of the Known World. Seriously, Did The Material Girl have some Material Eyebrows, or What?

Madonna Getting Divorce from Guy Ritchie: Best Thing that Could Have Happened to Him

Madonna and Guy Ritchie are getting a divorce. What’s the problem? Could it be that Madonna is a frickin’ loon? Not to mention a giant narcissistic hypocrite? Plus, she’s a leftist moonbat. More on that.

There’s more to life than having been cute back during the 80s. There’s also not being totally batshiznit crazy as you get old, skeletally then, and overly Botoxed.

 Here’s the man with the smart escape plan:

Guy Ritchie wonders: Why Did I marry this Gap-Toothed Psycho?

In other, yet somehow related, news, Chrissy Mazzeo is suing Jim Gibbons (evil Republican) for allegedly (which, when it comes to politicians, means “almost certainly”) for assaulting her with lascivious intent. Some days, I think most politicians just get into politics because “power is the ultimate aphrodisiac”. Too bad they don’t have the sense to know when it ain’t.

Chrissy Mazzeo is suing Jim Gibbon's cuz she wants money, it's almost election time so she'll get partisan help, and she's cute while Jim Gibbon's definitely ain't.

You’re also searching for Funky Winkerbean. Seriously? Funky Winkerbean. Weak, Internets. Weak.

Funky Winkerbean. Making Comics Tedious and Depressing since 1972. That's exactly where I want realism and death and alcoholism in the paper. The comics.

In more extremely lame news, you guys are all interested in The Daily Beast again. Seriously, do none of you remember that Tina Brown travesty, Talk Magazine? She’s trying to build this thing up via Ultra-Pimping it, and you suckers are falling for it. We already have The Huffington Compost, what do we need this for?

Tina Brown is out pimping the Daily Beast. Go there, people, and maybe she’ll leave us alone.

Tina Brown is clearly out and about pimping The Daily Beast. She snagged former-conservative turncoat, Christopher Buckley, to gin up controversy to make people interested in her latest tedious also-ran of a supposedly journalistic venture. You guys remember Talk Magazine, right? No? Well, there ya go.

Maybe it has something to do with Christopher Buckley’s departure from conservative stalwart National Review, after having endorsed Obama. In an article he wrote for The Daily Beast, he tries to make everybody feel bad by appealing to memories of his father, William F. Buckley. Kind of icky, if you ask me.