Palin Pardons a Turkey, All Others Get the Axe

And thank goodness for that. Turkey is good eatin’.

I love how Palin = Scandal! Comments on the video at YouTube, as of this posting, say things like “I bet PETA is knocking on her door right about now.”

Um, PETA didn’t know that turkeys are food? Where do they think turkey sandwiches come from? The sandwich fairy? Well, it may have been impolitic, but I’m betting most of the folks thinking this is some sort of Palin scandal or PR tragedy don’t have any trouble shoveling the product of set “turkey massacre” in their mouth.

I have seen this sort of unspeakable horror before. It America, we call it “a farm”. Sheesh.

Sarah Palin Pardons Turkey but Ignores Veterans. That headline just jumped out at me as “huh?” I thought the guys who did the “Palin didn’t know Africa was a continent” hoax were done. What, you didn’t know all that was bullhockey? Well, more on the Palin hoax here. It even got a little play in The New York Times. Learn something new every day, dontcha? You betcha!

Paliin’s Turkey Photo Op. And Palin’s Turkey Pardon Mishap. Hey, as long as the turkey she pardoned didn’t get butchered, it’s not a mishap. Sarah Palin Interviewed in front of Turkey Murder. Murder! Again, in the real world, we call that “farming” or “food production” or “Thanksgiving”.

You spoiled urbanites should be grateful for the thankless toiling the folks who make your sandwiches and the beef jerkey you scarf while blogging about how stupid they are do.

Man, that was an awkward sentence. I’m sure Tim “I’m-Smarter-Than-You-You-Backwoods-Hick” Hatch, who commented on my Jon Stewart/Sarah Palin post will nail me for that one, if he returns one day.

I should probably re-read The Elements of Style. That’s a good book.

And You’re Still on About Aubrey O’Day and Danity Kane

All right. She's cute. I'll give you that. But day after day, you people are searching for the Danity Kane and Aubrey O'Day. You'll never be satisfied. It's an addiction. And the first step is for you to admit it.

Oh. It’s probably cuz the Danity Kane is going “naked” for a PETA add. Yay, PETA. Best thing they do is get chicks to take their clothes off.

I dunno. My definition of "naked" is usually a little more naked than that. But maybe my standards are too high.

One more of Aubrey O’Day. 

Aubrey O'Day. She's a cutie. I don't know if she's really, as they say, dumb as a box of rocks. Don't care, neither.

In later news, I can tell it is late. Lots of searches for Mistress Delilah, so much so that her website is not loading right now. Try Delilah’s Dirty Debutantes instead. Not really my thing, frankly, and it’s late. You Internetz should all be getting to bed.

You’re also searching for Bridget the Midget. I’m going to assume the best, and think you aren’t searching for Bridget the Midget the real-life midget porn star, but are instead looking for Ray Steven’s 1971 classic, “Bridget the Midget”:

So, Have You Heard? The Bird Is the Word!

“Surfin’ Bird” is now a big meme, thanks to last night’s Family Guy.

If you haven’t heard that the Bird is the Word, it’s been mathematically proven. The Bird is equal to or greater than The Word.

In other news, Neel Kashkari has been named to oversee the sucking of all your money out of your wallet, the destruction of your business, and your eviction from your home . . . I mean, to oversee the bailout bill. Yah, Big Government! It works so, so well.

Also, pretty cool is the parody of the Joe Biden/Sarah Palin debate on SNL (this via The Today Show).

Funny stuff. More from NBC.com here. Strange when the most bi-partisan take you get on the major presidential candidates (and their veeps) is on Saturday Night Live.

I was curious why you peeples was searching for chocolate starfish, then I learned it was about Pamela Anderson stripping naked for Hugh Hefner, and then I understood.

Meat is murder, people.

 

Laterz, Internets.