Or, Happy Belated Thanksgiving! Happy Turkey Day!
It is a turkey. Happy Belated Thanksgiving.
I won’t get into why I didn’t post any over the Thanksgiving Holidays, a time when we should all give thanks, love our country, fantasize about a hot chick dressed like Pocahontas, and re-read George Washington’s Thanksgiving Day Address.
So what does the headline, and quite a few of my tags, have to do with Thanksgiving?
Well, first of all, they are all people who have a lot to be thankful for.
If Brad Pitt were less attractive, sixty pounds heavier, and way poorer, he would be no different from you or me. Kind of puts it all in perspective does it not?
Second, they are all people we should be thankful for not being (except possibly Brad Pitt).
Third, they are all people who have been demonstrably naked at some time or another, and we could potentially be thankful for that. Depending.
New for Christmas! Its The Bondage Paris Hilton! Tied up With Microphone Cable! Ready to Please You! All the Kids Want One!
But also because I’m thankful for the blog-o-sphere, and I’m thankful for Google Trends, and then deeper trends I see by looking at the logs, and seeing what kind of searches people keep hitting my blog-o-thingy on on a consistent basis.
For example, one or two posts on Karen Allen, and I get a steady of trickle of hits on her as a search term every day.
Karen Allen, beautiful as always, who you mostly seem to be looking for naked, which is understandable. I do not have those pictures here, but she is still beautiful. Yes, she is.
So, that’s Karen Allen. But one chick I’ve only mentioned once or twice is Lindsay Lohan, and you would think in this world of a gazillion pages on The Lohan, my minor mention wouldn’t get any notice at all. But there is a steady trickle. Presumably of Lohan-lookers who have gotten to the 438th page of results on “Lindsay Lohan” and have finally gotten to me. You pipples are obsessed.
Then there is Lindsay Lohan. Who is no doubt Lohan-liscious. But, jeeze, do not you peoplez ever get enough of the drunken irresponsible really-hot bimbo thing? Guess not.
I’ve never really mentioned Paris Hilton before, I don’t think. So this is kind of an experiment in that regard. Paris Hilton, Paris Hilton, Paris Hilton! Is magic happening yet?
Paris Hilton giving us that come hither stare. Turning on the Bette Davis Eyes. You know what I am talking about.
Then, there’s Britney Spears. She makes catchy bubble-gum music. She can be very cute
Britney Spears in a Silver Cat Suit
She can look very futuristic and modern in a silver catsuit.
Britney Spears Demonstrates her Oral Abilities. In Concert. Of course that is what I meant. What were you thinking, pervertz?
Indeed, she can be very, very hot when performing.
Britney is also very patriotic.
And she can take a good picture, when someone dresses her up right.
On the other hand, Britney Spears is also an ongoing, never-ending, rubber-neck-inducing train wreck:
Yikes! Britney Bald! Well, I guess she showed us.
So, I think the fascination with Britney is pretty easily explained. Lohan, too, I guess, since there is a human desire to watch a trainwreck and a pretty good likelihood with folks like Lindsay and Britney that there will be a serious derailment of the life train at some point, and it will be something to watch (even if we watch it queasily). But again, this is all very well-covered on the Internetz . . . how is it my late and minor mentions get any trickly of rubber-neckers at all? Very interesting, to me. And being interested is pleasant. And thus, am thankful for the interesting-ness of it all. God bless the Internetz, and God bless us all, every one. Even Britney.
Then there are folks like Jenny McCarthy, who seems to have it generally together, even if she’s making the autism=vaccinations crusade the focal point of her life, which can make her seem a little, um, off-putting. But whatever. She’s still hot in the bathtub.
Jenny McCarthy Takes a bath. So hot I think I will upload this image, so it can be my go-to image anytime I have anything to say about Jenny McCarthy
And then there is Angelina Jolie. There’s just something about Angelina Jolie. You must admit then, mustn’t you, yes?
Angelina Jolie has a Certain Appeal. Gotta admit it.
And, yes, she’s crazy enough that in addition to all the hotness, one always suspects there is an oncoming trainwreck. Or ritual murder.
Does Jolie Have Potential as a Ritual Murderer? I dunno. But I think most of us see the possibility.
Then there is Jennifer Aniston. Who is interesting because she was on Friends, and interesting because she made us believe she could actually be attracted to David Schwimmer, and interesting because she was doing the nasty with Brad Pitt but then Brad Pitt left her for Angelina Jolie and while she dabbled with Vince Vaughn and others, she’s bent on stalking Brad and breaking Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt up so there will no longer be a Brangelina. Just like she did with Jennifer Lopez and Ben Affleck (otherwise known as Bennifer),though she was so slick nobody ever knew it was her.
Jennifer Aniston. Cute, but devious.
And don’t get me started on other famous people I’m going to think of later and add to this article, because I’m genuinely curious as to how many over-covered stars and starlets and subjects of rumor and innuendo I can stick into one post, and then count how much trickle it gets from now until eternity. Um . . . Howard Stern? People are always searching the Google for Howard Stern. I’ll be thinking about it.
Matthew McConaughey! Who got arrested for playing bongo drums naked. Go to the link at look at the picture. Doesn’t his hairline appear to be receding? And that was almost ten years ago. How is it he always seems to have a luxurious head of hair in all the new movies? Hmmm? Conspiracy, that’s what it is. Conspiracy.
In the meantime, Stay Classy, Internetz.