Posts Tagged 'sarah palin swimsuit'

It’s Sarah Palin Bingo. People Out There Must Be Bored.

Wuzzup, my peeples? What’s the hot search topic today? Sarah Palin Bingo. You people, you amaze me. I love me some Sarah Palin, but this looks boring-er than playing real actual bingo, which is pretty boring, unless you are old, apparently.
Sarah Palins got her some BINGO! Shes so excited. Im excited, too--about Palin. About Bingo, not so much.
Sarah Palin’s got her some BINGO! She’s so excited. I’m excited, too–about Palin. About Bingo, not so much.

In other political news, Sarah Palin win’s Bikini.com’s Most Wanted Bikini Model. Maybe it already happened:

Sarah Palin in a Swimsuit. Too bad its fake.
Sarah Palin in a Swimsuit. Too bad it’s fake.

More damaging shocking truths about Sarah Palin are leaking onto the Internets ahead of tonight’s debate! All this time, Sarah Palin has been leading a secret double life!

All this time, Sarah Palin has led a secret life, in her satin tights, fighting for your rights, and the old red, white and blue. The Democratics say its a sinuous and scandalified.
All this time, Sarah Palin has led a secret life, in her satin tights, fighting for your rights, and the old red, white and blue. The Democratics say it’s a sinuous and scandalified.

You’re also still on about Penthouse Pet Cassia Riley. I already covered that.

Lots of interest in the USS Intrepid, otherwise known as “Sarah Palin’s Recreational Cruiser”.

You’re also oddly interested in Kelly Pugnea. A retired basketball guy’s wife? Man, you sportsters are hard up.

Paul Newman, Sarah Palin and Internet Memes Over the Long Term

Just recently, you crazy Internets have been doing some funky Sarah Palin love. And who can blame you?

Sarah Palin. Mayor of MILF. Governor of my heart.

Sarah Palin. Mayor of MILF. Governor of my heart.

I didn’t come up with the term “VPILF”, but, ya know, I understand why somebody out there did. Yeah, I’ve seen the Photoshizzled Palin bikini pic and the hot sexy skirt pic and the hottest governor pic . . . but, ya know what? The real, un-retouched Alaskan Moose-hunting uber-babe is the best.

But, that’s over the past 90 days, according the what The Dubya calls “The Google”. Biggest search terms besides Olympics and Sarah Palin? Hi5. It’s a social network? Another one? Damn. Look, don’t you Internets talk to each other enough? Just stop it with the socialite networkings. Just stop it. I’m serious.

Okay, but that’s not the point. The point was the other big searches, after Hi5, Sarah Palin and Olympics. What are you searching for? Facebook! You don’t know where Facebook is? MSNBC, maybe I can see, even though that doesn’t seem that complicated. You really don’t know where CNN is? What’s up with that? ESPN? You searching for that a lot. Craigslist? You put in the search for the Craigslist? What’s wrong with you, is the address bar broken or something? 

BTW, I hate Craigs List. Why you Internets love it so, like you want to kiss it and make love to it and have its babies, I do not know. You peoples have the issues.

Top searches? Myspace! Yahoo! YouTube! Good green golly, you people actually search for Google on Google! In the last 90 days, that’s the 4th most popular Google search! For the word “Google”. Either you Internets is so very stupid, or so very meta that you go beyond me. Far, far beyond me, into meta-meta-meta land. Bye-bye.

You search for eBay and MapQuest? You don’t know where those are? 

At least over the last few days, you narcissistic Internetters gave Paul Newman some love. Paul, you will be missed.

Paul will be missed. Look at him, hes so bad-ass. All the truly bad ass alpha male movie stars are gone. Its kinda sad, really. Cry for me, Internets. Cry for me now.

Paul will be missed. Look at him, he's so bad-ass. All the truly bad ass alpha male movie stars are gone. It's kinda sad, really. Cry for me, Internets. Cry for me now.

Go back to the top now. Isn’t that picture of Sarah Palin gorgeous. Maybe I have a man-crush on Paul Newman (if I am, in fact, what you humans call “a man”), but my heart belongs to Sarah. Alas, I must pine away in semi-anonymity. Now, I cry for me Internets. It is I that am now crying.

Internets, you’ve also been more interested in Fox News these days. I wonder why. Still, the main thing you search for, all the time, is Yahoo!, MySpace, YouTube and Google. Why are you searching for Google on The Google? Stop that.

You’ve also been interested in Orkut. That’s the difference between you and me, Internets. I’m not interested in Orkut. Never have been. Never will be. And you can’t make me.

Apparently you Internets are all interested in Ziggs right now. I have a hard time thinking that’s really true. I think you’re being played, Internets. I think you are being played. Just telling it like it is. I wouldn’t be your friend like I am, truly, if I didn’t.

Well, good night. I gotta go to bed. For real this time. But before I do . . . 

 

Im in love. Sweet, sweet Sarah. If only you werent married, and I wasnt married, and I wasnt a mysterious blogger who cannot reveal his or her true identity without fear of reprisals from the Illuminati. Or the Vril Society. I hear thats all the rage on the Internets these days.

I'm in love. Sweet, sweet Sarah. If only you weren't married, and I wasn't married, and I wasn't a mysterious blogger who cannot reveal his or her true identity without fear of reprisals from the Illuminati. Or the Vril Society. I hear that's all the rage on the Internets these days.

 

Today was good. Today was fun. Tomorrow is another one. From near to far, from here to there, funny things are everywhere.


November 2017
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