Sarah Palin Wins the Debate! Hands Down! Biden Crawls off Stage in Shame!

Sarah Palin Wins the Debate! Victory for Sarah Palin! I Remain in Love.
Sarah Palin Wins the Debate! Victory for Sarah Palin! I Remain in Love.

How do I know this? Because I have been to the future. I’m not saying how I got there, but it went a little something like this:

I Came Here in a Time Machine that You Invented. Now I need Your Help to Get Back to the Year 1985. Sigh. If only. If only.
I Came Here in a Time Machine that You Invented. Now I need Your Help to Get Back to the Year 1985. Sigh. If only. If only.

Basically, here’s how it broke down. Gwen Iffel asked the candidates how they felt race was affecting the election. Biden said, “Hey, now, I’m more racially sensitive than anybody. In fact, I challenge Mizz Palin to a break-dancing competetion, right here, right now.”

So, Sarah jumped over the lectern like a superhero and spun, flipped, and jammed for a full two minutes, shaming Biden. He then challenged her to some crumping, but his crumping was old and stale, and Palin’s crumping was fluid and dynamic and the audience cheered. Finally, Biden said they should end it all now with a poetry slam. Well, Palin slammed rhyme after rhyme, and old Joe just couldn’t keep up.

Finally, he conceded defeat, and Gwen Iffel ended the debate by telling everybody to read about all that just happened in her new book, coming out on Obama’s inaugaration day. Then she began accepting pre-orders.

Just one caveat. I don’t think it happened, but it is possible that my little trip to the future took me to an alternate universe, instead of our exact future. But there was still the big mortgage crisis with Frosty Mug and Freaky Moo, and the New Amsterdam Stock Exchange was still way down. But, if it was an alternate reality, then . . . nevermind.

The Late, Great Gilda Radner as Emily Litella. Right on Violins on Television. Right about the Eagle Rights Ammendment. Right for Vice President.
The Late, Great Gilda Radner as Emily Litella. Right on Violins on Television. Right about the Eagle Rights Amendment. Right for Vice President.

 

 

 

3 Responses to “Sarah Palin Wins the Debate! Hands Down! Biden Crawls off Stage in Shame!”


  1. 1 Equality October 2, 2008 at 5:26 pm

    Why not question that the moderator, Gwen Ifill, of the upcoming Biden-Palin debate is pro-Obama. She wrote a book that praises Obama, obviously she will try her best to make Palin look bad in the debate Why couldn’t the moderator be more fair and bi-partisan?

    Why not make fun of Joe Biden, who thinks FDR was President in 1929, and thinks paying more taxes is patriotic?

  2. 2 memetrics October 2, 2008 at 5:56 pm

    Yo, pipples. I love me some Sarah Palin. You may notta read the whole post there. I quote a most brilliant persons, myself, about this so-called future debate event that I watched on future television . . . in the future.

    “Finally, he [Joe Biden] conceded defeat, and Gwen Iffel ended the debate by telling everybody to read about all that just happened in her new book, coming out on Obama’s inaugaration day. Then she began accepting pre-orders.”

    I’m giving the ribben to Missus Gwen Awful. When asked what she wanted for breakfast this morning, Ms. Iffil said: “Recuse? What’s that? Recuse? No, excuse me, you recuse yourself from his conversation. I’m objectively non-party-san.
    Now, excuse me, I have to moderate this debate between the brilliant statemens, Joe Biden, and that backwoods trailer trash snake handling chick, Sarah Whats-her-redneck face.

    BTW, paying more taxes is NOT patriotic. The flag is red, white and blue. Money is green. Letting me keep my money so I can buy more flags, that’s some patriotism, right there.


  1. 1 John McCain and P.J. O’Rourke in Love Triangle With Amy Lumet? « Whassup, Peoples? Trackback on October 2, 2008 at 9:54 pm

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