Mike Bocchetti? BP Capital? XM Radio Online? R U Siruis?

 

R U Sirius? See? That’s a pun. Proves I’m funny. But, Mike Bocchetti? I got no idea who he is right now, Internets, but what am I guessing it has something to do with stupid football again?

No, not footballs. Mike Bocchetti is a comedian who was on Howard Stern. You are all listening to Howard Stern and then Googling Mike Bocchetti? You people are so weird. 

I’m guessing XM Radio Online is also about Howard Stern? I guess I should be glad you peoples are off the Nancy-frumpin-Pelosi. But Howard Stern? Bah.

You folks looking for BP Capital must be planning on getting out. That’s taking a nose dive. And you think the Wind Power Driven Clean Energy Brain of T. Boone Pickens is all that. I guess you had better think again.

Wind Power. Yeah, baby. Love me some Thomas Dolby. Don’t try and guess my age from that. You don’t know. Don’t judge me.

I’m glad to see you Internet foolz trying to smarten your brains up. You’ve been studying up on The Smoot Hawley Tariff Act. Look at you, trying to learn things. But don’t try to blame all this that’s going on now on poor Herbert Hoover. He’s always gotten a bad rap.

Why the sudden interesting in Heidi Strobel? Was she on TV last night or something? Or . . . just in your dreams?

Yeah, Shes Cute. But Will She look as good as Heather Locklear when shes 47, high on drugs, and recently arrested? I dont think so.
Yeah, She’s Cute. But Will She look as good as Heather Locklear when she’s 47, high on drugs, and recently arrested? I don’t think so.

Britney Spears Sex Tape is back in the top 20! Just when I think you Internets are getting all political and boring on me, you restore my faith in the humanity. And just so you know: To Serve Man? It’s a cookbook.

Oh, now I get it. There’s some news on the memetic pipes about a certain Adnad Ghalib, some Arab-Muslim sounding Barack Obama supporter who videotaped himself doing the nasty with Britney Spears.

The video ain’t out there yet. He wants to sell it, to make him some moolah. So stop looking, peoples. Unless you gots a cool half-mil to buy it, might as well go back to looking for Nancy-frumpin-Pelosi.

The Googles says you all want to know about Janet Jackson Being Hospitalized. It’s true. No, it was not a wardrobe malfunction. She had a funk attack, and the doctors say she’s suffered a potentially fatal reduction in soulfulness. Her supervising physician, Dr. Dre, said Janet would recover completely, but was corrected by a representative for the singer who stated that he would have to refer to her as “Ms. Jackson, if you’re nasty”. Get well soon, Janet. We peoples on the Internets miss you much. We really miss you much.

You’re looking for a Black Betty Baseball Bat? How many of you are really looking for that? I’m not even going to try and find a link, that’s just silly. What are all you Internets up to out there?

The definition of LIBOR is “London Inter-Bank Offer Rate”. Hope that helps you get smarter about the economics, but if you keep electing Republicrats I don’t think you’re actually any smarter. Vote Whig in 2008, and show Washington Who’s The Boss!

And why are you looking for stinkhorn mushrooms? I don’t trust that. I think you’re being gross.

All right. You aren’t looking for her right now, but you know what? You should. She’s, like, fifty-something years old and still super cute. Who am I talking about? Karen Allen. Babe for all eternity. She also sells really expensive scarves.

Is Karen Allen Permanently Babe-a-Liscious or What? What was Indiana Jones thinking, foolin around with Kate Capshaw?

Is Karen Allen Permanently Babe-a-Liscious or What? What was Indiana Jones thinking, foolin' around with Kate Capshaw?

 More soon, you crazy, fickle internets, you!

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