Captain Caucasian on the “W Magazine” Cover? Nope, Angelina Jolie. Plus: Troopergate!

Nope, apparently it’s Angelina Jolie breastfeeding. Oooh! Scandalous.

Angelina Jolie, or somebody who looks like her, doing what comes naturally. This will not be the picture on the W Cover, which isn't available yet so stop looking for it.

You’re also looking around for Captain Caucasian. Captain Caucasian and the Raging Idiots? Seriously? You sure it’s not something else?

Just so you know, hemorrhagic fever is a fever triggered by any of a wide variety of RNA viruses, and are characterized by fever and bleeding. Yummy!

It’s apparently a big problem in South Africa right now.

James T. Harris, who complained that McCain isn’t doing enough to hit Obama and try and actually, I dunno, win the election is very popular search term right now. In addition to being a talkshow host, he’s also a motivational speaker and consultant. Way to go, James!

In financial doom–I mean, news–you’re all searching for the GM Stock Price. Um, given the market, what do you think it’s doing. Peoples are saying GM’s stock price hasn’t been this low since 1951. Is that an inflation adjusted figure?

In other gloom, GE’s earnings fall for the 3rd straight quarter. It’s the End Times, people! Cash in the mattress, bury gold in the backyard, and make sure you have plenty of canned foods, water, and ammunition.

Oh, and then there’s Troopergate. No, not the one with Bill Clinton that the news media dismissed and ignored, and not the one where Eliot Spitzer had cops spying on his political enemies. Instead, the press is all on about the one where Sarah Palin might have tried to get an unstable, violent trooper who had threatened to kill his wife off the streets before he did serious damage. That witch! Want a reasonably fair take on the story, check The Weekly Standard Blog. Don’t forget, Democrat State Senator Hollis French already promised that the Trooper Gate report would deliver a lovely October Surprise for the Democrats. Fancy That! And did he deliver or what?

What’s Your Sudden Interest in the Flop-a-liscious “Night at the Roxbury”?

Is floccinaucinihilipilification another word for “Flop-a-liscious”?

Will Ferrell and Chris Kattan in Night at the Roxbury. Will has gone on to have an actual movie career, while Chris, alas, has not.

In other news, nevermind why: how are you searching for floccinaucinihilipilification? It’s impossible to type. Maybe cuz the markets are suck-tacular, and it basically means to describe something as worthless, or make it worthless via deprecation? Come to think of it, it might be a good description of Night at the Roxbury. Maybe those two searches are somehow related.

Martti Ahtisaari is Up for The Nobel Peace Prize. At Least It’s Not Frappin’ Al Gore or Jiminy Cricket Carter

 

Rachael Yamagata Wants a Year's Supply of Cigarettes for Christmas.

Boy, that seems politically incorrect for someone in the entertainment industry. A years supply of cigarettes? She also has a new album out and is on tour. I’ll pass, thanks.

BTW, Internets: you’re searching for “rachel yamagata”, and The Google is smart enough to know what you mean (God Bless The Google!). But it’s “Rachael”.

BTW, that Google link up there is direct to Google’s blast-from-the-past commemorative search page that lets you search Googles search index from 2001. Wow, was it only 7 years ago? It seems like 70. The weird logo, no “I’m Feeling Lucky” button. Wow.

 

Martti Ahtisaari: I'm Sorry My Name Is So Fonked Up To Type

Apparently, Martti Ahtisaari (sorry, but that’s just an effed-up name to type) won the Nobel Hate America–oops, I mean, Nobel Peace Price. Martti Ahtisaari’s Wikipedia entry is here. Apparently he supported the Iraq War? Maybe the Nobel comittee didn’t notice. Important thing is, he was president of Finland. So we can assume that, deep in his heart, he hated America, and thus was worthy of the Nobel Peacefully Hating America Price.