What if the Presidential Candidates were the Cast of Gilligan’s Island?

Here ya go:

I like it. I’m not sure that Obamarama is fit to fill the Professor’s shoes–I’ve never seen him make a radio out of two bamboo shoots and some coconuts–but otherwise, dead on. Cool beans.

 I don’t think Obama is really the Professor. But he’s not really Gilligan, either. May he’s more like Ginger–a moviestar!–than The Professor. Either way, any excuse is a good excuse to bring up Gilligan’s Island.

ACORN Is Using The Google to Find Jessica Alba

At least, that would explain why you keep searching for “register to vote online” and “texas voter registration“.

Jessica Alba Says If You Don’t Vote for Democatics, She’s Going to Eat Your Spleen with a Fava Beans and a Nice Chianti.

Or may it’s something else. Like Jessica Alba telling us we gotta vote (for who, I’m wonderin’) or we’ll get muzzled. By them wascally Snidely Whiplash Republicans, no doubt.

Well, if Jessica Alba says it, I gotta do it. Jessica Alba has some serious street cred. Especially in a bikini, or otherwise scantily clad.

You should be searching for ACORN fraud. That’ll open your eyes, if they aren’t already opened. Or if they aren’t permanently un-openable. Damn, this is an awkward paragraph. I think it’s time to hit the emergency eject. Kashoom!

In other news, lots of you are looking for Shelly Saltman. Apparently, he must’ve been in some trivia question about Evel Knievel on Jeopardy or something.

More Extreme Makeover! You folks are searching on Sadie Holmes, another Extreme Makeover victim who, despite being given a house, can’t seem to hold on to it. And people say socialism doesn’t work! 

Lots of you are searcing on Citicards. You worried about Citi Corp or something? With our fine banking system? Nonsense, I say. Nonsense! Go charge up a bundle, keep the economy going. Buy what you need–or heck, just have a fancy for at the moment–thanks to magical plastic, and don’t worry. Works out great. Just ask Sadie Holmes, who can’t hold on to a house that was given to her. Yay, America!

3d Monitors and Displays: This Stuff is Cool

Wouldn’t a blog in 3d be cool? Still, some of these monitors look technically problematic. Do you really want this on your desk?

3D monitors are cool, but do you really want this on your desk? It wouldn’t fit on mine.

IZ3D has one that requires glasses.

That’s a weird spinny 3d monitor. Looks like a holograph from Star Wars. No idea who was working on that. Here’s a hologram TV, but the picture on it ain’t moving, which is kinda the point.

I02 Technology as the Helio Display. Dang, if that doesn’t look like a better holograph than from Star Wars.

 Another very cool technology is the Cheoptics 360:

 

Which is discussed here a Dvorak.org/blog. If that’s your drinking game, then take a shot.

Toshiba has a glasses-free 3D Flat Panel display targeted for arcade machines. Sharp also has a 3D Flat Panel out or coming out soon. This 3D VisWall is cool, but probably not going to be available to the end-user any time soon. Samsung also has a groovy 3D Television offering.

Assuming the market doesn’t entirely crash and we’re all trying to sell apples for a nickle-a-pop on the street corner, the future looks pretty bright for folks who like big displays, and have drooled over the possibilities of 3d in the living room for the past several decades, like me. Shweet!

More on Samsung’s 3D-Ready DLP TV. More on Sharp’s 3D monitor.

Karen Allen in “Until September”

Apparently, lots of people are stumbling on to my site looking for Karen Allen, and “Karen Allen September”, meaning you’re looking for Karen Allen naked in Until September.

Karen Allen in Raiders of the Lost Ark. What a cutey.

You’ll have to find pictures of Karen Allen naked in Until September yourself, or buy it from Amazon.

One more pic of Karen Allen:

Karen Allen: Perpetual Hottie.

Lakisha Jones to Wed Janie Liszewski, Eddie Van Halen and Invest in Dendreon

You people are very interested in the Lakisha Jones gettin’ married meme this morning. Not sure why. Not sure why I had to retype this, because WordPress ate my original comment, and the caption for this photo, which probably said something about why I never watching American Idol, but I’ve forgotten what I would have said now, so we’ll never know.

In Other News, Eddie Van Halen is marrying Janie Liszewski. You people are sure interested in who is marrying who this morning.

Janie Liszewski and Eddie Van Halen. Gettin' Married. Yawn.And who can blame her?Eddie Van Halen! Man, watch a catch. He's going to make some lucky girl very happy. When he croaks and leaves her the estate.

Is it just me, or does the new chick look a lot like Valerie Bertinelli?

Eddie apparently has a thing for chicks that look like Valerie Bertinelli.

 

In more other news, Virginia Voter Registration looks to be favoring Democrats. Because they love them some pork in Virginia. Just ask ex-klansmen, Robert “sheets” Byrd.

You Internets is also searching for DNDN, or Dendreon. You guys aren’t think of playing the stock market are you? In this financial climate? Seriously? O-kay.

 

The Keating Five and KeatingEconomics.com. Obama’s a Little Defensive, Ain’t He?

Apparently, the Obama campaign has put together a 13 minute documentary about John McCain, the Keating 5, and the Making of a Financial Crisis.

This is, like, a preview:

Somehow, John McCain taking donations from this guy (along with 4 Democratics) back in the 80s represents the failed ideology of Republican Fat Cat Wealth-Lovin’ (tho McCain was the lone Republican in a scandal that otherwise involved nothing but crazy Democratics). Whatever.

More on the Keating Five.

Obama’s apparently pissed McCain is finally calling him out for association with domestic terrorists (including authoring a great educational initiative to teach kids about rebelling against authority and social justice, instead of math and, I dunno, how to read or whatnot).

Country is going to hell in a handbasket, people. Just face it. Store up ammunition, bottled water, turn your cash to gold and keep it buried in the backyard. That is all.

So, Have You Heard? The Bird Is the Word!

“Surfin’ Bird” is now a big meme, thanks to last night’s Family Guy.

If you haven’t heard that the Bird is the Word, it’s been mathematically proven. The Bird is equal to or greater than The Word.

In other news, Neel Kashkari has been named to oversee the sucking of all your money out of your wallet, the destruction of your business, and your eviction from your home . . . I mean, to oversee the bailout bill. Yah, Big Government! It works so, so well.

Also, pretty cool is the parody of the Joe Biden/Sarah Palin debate on SNL (this via The Today Show).

Funny stuff. More from NBC.com here. Strange when the most bi-partisan take you get on the major presidential candidates (and their veeps) is on Saturday Night Live.

I was curious why you peeples was searching for chocolate starfish, then I learned it was about Pamela Anderson stripping naked for Hugh Hefner, and then I understood.

Meat is murder, people.

 

Laterz, Internets.

Is Olivia Hussey Better off Dead? And SMA Disease.

You people been searching for Better off Dead. The 1985 film with John Cusack? Good taste, Internets. Very good tastes. Better off Dead is a classic.

Olivia Hussey as a sizzling hot Juliet Capulet. If only I weren't a Montague.

 A sudden interestedness in Romeo and Juliet’s Olivia Hussey can only be explained by a suddenly collective awareness that there are plenty of classic films still worth seeing. 

A very abrupt interest in SMA disease from pretty much complete nothingness to pretty darn interested. From Extreme Makeover? You people’s really watch Extreme Makeover? People who can use computers and type words into a search engine watch Extreme Makeover? 

Tell ya what, ya learn something every day.

More on SMA Disease here.