Peter Cook Sex Tape Not With Christie Brinkley

Sheesh. What’s up with this guy? First, he feels tortured by having to be married by former super model Christie Brinkley and airs his dirty undershorts on 20/20, and now instead of having an interesting sex tape with Christie Brinkley out there, it’s him and some barely-legal nobody. What a loser.

Seriously, he wouldn’t rather tap this?

Christie Brinkley. Apparently, a former super model wasn’t good enough for Peter Cook. I mean, come on. Christie Brinkley. I mean, come on, Peter. What were you thinking?

Christie Brinkley. Sweet. Peter Cook is a dolt. That is all.

Seriously. Sheesh.

Jamie Lee Curtis throws a Natural Law Party

Jamie Lee Curtis in Trading Spaces. No reason, just everybody should see that movie. And Jamie Lee Curtis in it.

Another one, poorly done, here. Also, some nudie pictures of Jamie Lee here.

In actual news, you’re looking for info about The Natural Law Party. I think that sounds pretty good. Politicians can spend their time meditating instead of over-regulating us and taking our money.

You’re also looking up Highland Capital, cuz they are liquidating funds. It’s another fun part of the global markets crashing into the ground and burning and exploding.

On good thing about the markets crashing? They finally popped the oil bubble. Oil prices are going down, down, down, and will probably keep dropping. Gas will follow, eventually, unless the Democratics figure out how to make the difference up with taxes.

Tea Leoni Leaves Fox Mulder for Anna Torv

Tea Leoni. Cute, and as good a comedic actress as you could hope to find. Apparently, she’s run into to the strong, alpha-man arms of Billy Bob Thornton, just because poor David Duchovny has sex addiction and has been between the legs of about a thousand different womenz.

“The last X-Files Movie just wasn’t good,” she explains. “J.J. Abrams Fringe is just a much more interesting show, and a much better way of having FBI agents investigate the unexplained, than rehashing old X-Files reruns on the big screen. Plus, David just won’t stop having sex when anything that moves. That’s been a pain in the ass as well.”

Okay, she’s not really leaving Duchovny for Anna Torv. But, if she did, who would blame her?

Anna Torv from Fox’s excellent new series, Fringe.

Actually, it appears Duchovny is leaving because he found text messages from Billy Bob Thornton to Tea on her cell phone. Sure, he puts his wink-a-doodle in anything with an appropriate receptable, and she’s the bad guy for getting her text on with bad ass Billy Bob Thornton? Funk off, Duchovny. You always were a douchebag.

Look at Billy Bob Thornton. He's just bad ass. David Duchovny's all right, in a girly kinda way, but Billy Bob is a Man's Man. Tea Leoni made the right decision.

John McCain Has Mad Skillz On the Drumz! Who Knew?

John McCain is fighting to become our Percussionist In Chief. Apparently, the John McCain Drumming meme is hot today. Hot!

Hot like John McCain riding that snare, baby.

Man, can John McCain play the skins or what?

Air Angels Helicopter Crash Proves: You Folks are Morbid

An Air Angels crash killed 3 crew members and a 1 year old little girl suffering from epileptic seizures.

I’m sure it’s unrelated, but it’s a little morbidly ironic that the Air Angels website puts an emphasis on employment opportunities. Update: the AirAngels website has been changed. BTW, this was never meant to be a criticism of Air Angels.

There’s some video of the news report on the accident here.

The helicopter clipped a 690-foot radio tower shortly before the crash Air Angels announced that it was suspending all operations pending investigation. Sixteen apartments near the WBIG radio tower have been evacuated because of concerns that the long guy-wires (that’s the word, I looked it up) that hold up the tower were unstable. Because a helicopter crashed into it. I can see that.

Jeeze. I dunno. Was helicopter the only way to go in this case? But ambulances get in accidents, too.

It’s just sad. Sad way to start the morning. Way to go, Internetz. Now I’m depressed.

What Just Happened? The Rein. And, The Democratics Burned Down the House

That’s a good question. The American Issues Project has an answer:

And this ad from the McCain camp has a little something to say on the issue, too:

Here’s Frank Luntz on the Most Effective Anti-Obama Ad Evah!  So naturally McCain doesn’t want to run it.

Maybe so. Still not as effective, if you ask me, is the more indepth overview of Republicans trying to prevent the financial meltdown while Democrats fought ’em tooth and nail. List to all the Democrats saying Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac are fine and don’t need any oversight or changes, and how bad Republicans are for even bringing them up. Seriously, it’s amazing. The whole financial mess is tied to the Democrats in a big way right here, and does the McCain camp point people to a website? Offer this video anywhere?

Sheesh. Anyway, here it is:

And don’t forget the follow up, Democratics Be Burning Down the House:

Yah. You wanna know What Just Happened? That just happened, people.

And more, about Bank Affirmative Action. Obama. ACORN. It’s all there.

Forget the debates and the lameness thereof, Internets. This is your homework. You want more financial destruction, elect more Democrats. They think you do want it. And they will be delivering it to you, real soon now. In fact, Democrats can’t even wait for the traditional inauguration day to get into your wallets and start using the global economy as their personal piggy banks.

Sarah Palin Porn Does Not Come Up In Debate

Bob Schieffer was afraid to ask the hard questions. Like, is it true there’s going to be a 3-way in the Oval Orifice?

Bob Schieffer Actually Asked Some of the More Ballsy Debate Questions. Good show, Bob. Good show.

Still, he could’ve quoted Weather Underdog Terrorizer Bill Ayers, who Obama has worked with on education projects, and had this to say in 1970: “Kill all the rich people. Break up their cars and apartments. Bring the revolution home. Kill your parents, that’s where it’s really at.“

Um, Ayres said that, not Obama. Obama just said: “I want your money. Gimmee.”

To repeat, Obama associate Bill Ayres once said: “Kill your parents, that’s where it’s really at.”

My, that’s a mighty fine educational philosophy. I hope he’s modulated it some, since then.

Okee-dokee. Back to Palin Porn.

Here's Larry Flynt's Palin, Lisa Ann. Yah, she's cute but . . . she ain't no Sarah Palin. Sorry.

I gotta say. Nothing against Lisa Ann, or any of the hardworking adult film stars that make the porn industry in America one of the world’s finest, but, ya know, she just ain’t . . . Sarah. Not even close.

Sarah Palin. Kicking Ass and Naming Names. If only John McLame would do that.

Palin Visits the Site of the Former World Trade Center. Should terrorist die under a blazing rain of good old American-made bombs? You betcha!

Oh, yeah. Sorry, Lisa Ann. You just can't compare. It ain't all about the mammaries, sweety. There is class. There is poise. There is raw charisma. Palin has what you just ain't got. Sorry.

Linda Larkin Debates Senator Government and John McTame

Linda Larkin. That’s a very 1960’s Marvel’s Comics kind of name.

Linda Larkin is a Well Known Stage Actress. Yawn.

Cute enough. But you probably know her better when she’s dressed like this:

Linda Larkin was the voice of Princess Jasmine. Funny, she doesn't look middle-eastern. Linda Larkin, I mean. Very in-authentic. Of Disney.

Apparently there’s an Obama Tax Calculator so we can calculate the tax cut we might theoretically get, if doesn’t turn out that the Democratics just need to raise all our taxes because of how bad things really are, which is how it usually works. Must’ve come up in the debate that was on while I was busy flossing my toes.

That One and the Old Guy Debate About Who Can Blink And Smirk The Most.

 

You’re searching up a storm, all of a sudden, on the term ‘litmus test‘. Fair enough. But what is a real litmus test, anyway? Haven’t you ever asked yourself that question?

There are apparently so many of you thinking they are saying “lipness test” that you are searching for a lipness test. Lipness. That’s just sad, Internets. Truly said.

The Answer to The Great Debate question of Supreme Court litmus tests? Abortion is bad, but Obama likes ’em better than McCain, because McCain likes babies and Obama thinks women should get to choose their womb contents. Concise, done, next topic.

Amazingly, there was a lot of looking up of the word repudiate during the debate. Seriously, you don’t know what repudiate means? Damn, we need ourselves some of those charter schools, like they busy kickin’ it wit’ in DC.

They could at least get us some school vouchers or sumtin’.

During the Great Debate that happened at some point in the recent past of tonight when I’m writing this, McTame called The Obamarama “Senator Government“. Which is a great frickin’ line. Democratic blogs I’ve been reading think it was an accident, and maybe it wuz, but I hope it was on purpose. Good line. 

Senator Government is clearly going to become the new in-slam to throw down at Obama. It’s already cropping up all over.

You’re also looking up “Sarah Palin Autism”, cuz you either think McCain was saying Palin’s youngest child has autism (he does not) and wanted to go nyah-nyah on him, or you think Sarah Palin has autism. She does not.

This guy is named Dr. Goo, and the autism thing pissed him off. Everything McCain said pissed him off. But then, his name is Dr. Goo, why do we care what frickin’ pissed this jackhole off?

I like the line about how he almost punched his mother’s big screen TV. The more kids that live at home and live off their parents indefinitely, the more Democratics we’re going to have in this country. Bye-bye, country.