Posts Tagged 'osama bin ladin'

McCain’s Secret Plan to Get Bin Ladin Revealed!

McCain mentioned last night in the debate he had a plan to get Bin Ladin. Many people wondered, what is this secret plan that he won’t reveal unless elected president?

It turns out that the main plan being considered was authored by none other than Freddie Jones of Mystery, Inc. McCain has bought into the plan, and it’s likely to go forward if he’s elected president.

Freddie Jones has the Plan that McCain Will use to Catch Bin Ladin.

Freddie Jones has the Plan that McCain Will use to Catch Bin Ladin.

First, a large dog dressed like Jesus Christ and carrying an American flag will be enticed to run around in front of Bin Ladin via the use of Scooby Snacks.

Then, when Bin Ladin gives chase, the dog will lead him into an old warehouse, where the floor has been covered with axle grease. This will make Bin Ladin slip, and slide inexorably towards a washing machine that is wired up to several car batteries and is placed precariously on a catapult. He will fall into the washing machine, which will begin spinning him around, as the catapult fires and sends Bin Ladin, in the washing machine, hurtling into a large net stretched across the ceiling.

When the washing machine hits the net, Bin Ladin will be dumped out, very dizzy and unable to escape, while several buckets of quick setting glue are poured down onto him, holding him into place. Finally, Velma Dinkley will walk up, remove Bin Ladin’s turban, and reveal him to be the old caretaker, Mr. Jenkins, who had just been trying to scare America away because he’d found oil on the old Afghanistan Place.

And he would have gotten away with it, too, if it hadn’t been for those darn kids. And your darn president McCain.


June 2018
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