Posts Tagged 'billy mays'

Michael Jackson is Dead on Cover of OK! Magazine, Plus Russian Milk

Strange Russian Milk Ad. What Are They Trying To Say, I Wonder?
Strange Russian Milk Ad. What Are They Trying To Say, I Wonder?

In the news: Daily Ejaculation is Good for You. Frankly, if you’re married or in a long term relationship, you know that if it was proven conclusively that a daily BJ cured cancer and would help you live forever and you were about to die, your wife or long-term significant other would tell you, sweetly: “That’s too bad. I’m really going to miss you. The life insurance is paid up, right?”

Let’s be honest here.

In other news, the Billy Mays autopsy report concludes he died from heart disease, while still no word on exactly what killed Michael Jackson. Soon enough, I suppose.

Ok! Magazine Cover of Dead Micheal Jackson
Ok! Magazine Cover of Dead Micheal Jackson

In a decision of questionable taste, OK! Magazine put the “last” picture of Michael Jackson, almost certainly already dead, on their Michael Jackson memorial cover. And paid $500,000 for the blurry, morbid thing. Hmmm.

I enjoy music. Now, there’s something called Tonematrix that makes it easy. That’s pretty cool.

 

 

The Apocalypse is Nigh: Al Franken Wins, Billy Mays is Dead

Al Franken is crazy, but maybe not any more crazy than the folks already in D.C. Anyway, he’s been declared the winner, Norm Coleman is sent packing, and another crazy Marxist is sent to Washington. Yay.

Al Franken: Another Crazy Marxist in the Senate. Awesome!
Al Franken: Another Crazy Marxist in the Senate. Awesome!

Did Al Franken steal the election? No, he’s a Kind of a Big Deal Around Here. He had other people steal it for him.

In other news, if you’ve been living under a rock and accidentally found your way to this blog, you might be surprised to learn that Billy Mays is dead. Like Michael Jackson (whose fans may kill themselves, so Jesse Jackson is urging them not to kill themselves yet), he was only 50. Some force of fate apparently has it in for 50 years olds right now. I’m glad I’m not 50 yet.

Billy Mays Had the Stuff To Clean My Carpet. For Only $19.99!
Billy Mays Had the Stuff To Clean My Carpet. For Only $19.99!

Sad. Billy Mays rocked.

Michael Jackson did Thriller. A Great, Great Album.
Michael Jackson did Thriller. A Great, Great Album.

Thriller was one of the greatest pop albums of all time. Defined a frickin’ generation. R.I.P., Michael. You were a little weird, but you were a talented guy.

Was he crazy? Yeah, I guess so. But he rocked. And, unlike almost-as-insane-if-not-as-insane Al Franken, we never elected Michael to public office. Shamon!


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