Jennifer Butler Murray Leaves Bill Murray for Scarlett Johansson

Bill Murray and former, Too-Hot-for-Him Wife, Jennifer Butler Murray. Sure, She Probably Had Here Eyes on the Loot. But 11 Years is a Long Time To Wait Just To Get a No-Fault and Half The Money.
Bill Murray and former, Too-Hot-for-Him Wife, Jennifer Butler Murray. Sure, She Probably Had Here Eyes on the Loot. But 11 Years is a Long Time To Wait Just To Get a No-Fault and Half The Money.

Jennifer Butler Murray left Bill Murray “Dead and Broken”, according to him. But he’s going to get on with it, and you Internets are really happy about it and keeping searching for Jennifer Butler Murray, probably because you had no idea he was married, and figured he was just doing to hot chicks in his movies. Like Scarlett Johansson.

Scarlet Johansson. Do I really need an excuse?
Scarlett Johansson. Do I really need an excuse?

 A lot of interest in Carrie Milbank this afternoon. I can see why.

Carrie Milbank. Shes reasonably cute.
Carrie Milbank. She’s reasonably cute.

Apparently, she was a cheerleader, and now she’s a TV personality. I love those rags to riches stories. And, as you can tell, she got their with pure moxie!

In other news, Jamie Lynn Spears is pregnant again, probably. Big surprise. You can take the girls out of the trailer, but . . .

Pretty soon shes going to need a double-wide.
Pretty soon she’s going to need a double-wide.

 You’re also looking for Whitney Cummings. Now, if that isn’t a porn star name, I don’t know what is. But apparently she’s just a regular actress. What a waste of a great porn name. 

Whitney Cummings. Not Actually a Porn Actress.

Whitney Cummings. Not Actually a Porn Actress.

You’re also all on about searching for AIG Spa. Come on, folks. After working so hard to get bailed out with your tax money, those rich fat cats need a nice spa day. On your dime.

Laterz, Internets. Come to think of it, I could use a spa day, myself. Anybody want to bail me out?

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