Sara Evan’s Plays Pogo with Paris Bennett . . . and Wins the Nobel Prize in Physics!

Okay, not really. But you folks are a little more interested than usual in Sara Evans. I’m sympathetic. She’s got a heck of a set of pipes. And she’s gorgeous.

Sara Evans is Gorgeous. And Shes More Than a Little Bit Country. Let Freedom Ring!
Sara Evans is Gorgeous. And She’s More Than a Little Bit Country. Let Freedom Ring!

Enjoy that pic, before the giant asteroid hits the earth. Seriously? You’re a bunch of paranoid mo-fos. And you’ve got your priorities a little backwards. Soon enough, you ain’t going to have nothing to wear around but a big barrel and a pair of suspenders. And you’re worrying about giant asteroids? Just gaze into the, um, eyes of Sara Evans above, and let your mind wander.

I’m not gonna dignify your weird interest in youjizz.com with an actual link. Be more creative. Or find a real, live woman. Or devote your life to science.

You’re abrupt interest in Pogo is interesting. What’s up with that, Internets? You some Pogo playing foolz, apparently. Maybe you excited that Electronic Arts is gonna be delivering Trivial Pursuit across Pogo.com. Well, okay, that’s just fascinating. Yawn.

In other news, you Internet’s unflagging morbid curiosity is unabated, as you’re all looking up Hope Orwick, some mentally disturbed woman. She stabbed her two children to death then fatally shot herself.

Apparently, she was all fonked up because her husband died a few years ago. So, the answer to that was to stab her kids to death. She couldn’t even do something quicker? Like shoot ’em, the way she did herself? Everybody says she was nice, so I guess a circuit just blew, but this is the pull quote:

“I would just want people to know that she loved her children, but I think she missed her husband,” Denham said. “I know those children were the light of her life and soul.”

So she stabbed them to death. Seriously. I’d be all like, I’d just like you to know, whatever good she had ever done in the world, she just completely screwed the pooch when she stabbed her children to death. That, like, kinda counteracts all the good stuff and her being loving and all. Seriously. Go to an adult friends house, tell ’em the children are at home and to make sure they are taken care of, then off yourself if you’re such a nutjob. It might ruin their lives, but they at least got a fighting chance. They don’t have a fighting chance when you stab ’em to death.

Sorry to get so serious on ya, Internets. But you’re the one all morbidly obsessed with the Hope Orwick story, not me. Or, at least, not me until I read the story. Which I wouldn’t have done, if not for you. This is all your fault, Internets.

Speaking of morbid curiosity, Karthik Rajaram basically did the same thing, killing his mother-in-law (and if he’d stopped there, I’m sure people could be more understanding), his wife, and his three sons. Apparently, business was down, so he was all upset about it. WTF? Peoples needs some perspectives out there.

To bring it all around, the Nobel Prize in Physics has been awarded to some guys with some kind of theory of spontaneous symmetry breaking, and Sara Evan’s for her mad Pogo skillz.

Laterz, Internets.

Oh, I almost forget. You folkz is always whacked out on the American IdolParis Bennett gave birth to a baby girl. Named her “Egypt”. Hopefully, the next one will be named “Moon Unit”. I always liked that name.

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