The OJ Simpson Verdict Reached: Johnny Cochran Dead, OJ Guilty as Sin

Apparently, this time the glove fit. While there was no incredibly incriminating, obviously guilty slow-motion chase in a white Bronco, a lack of Johnny Cochran clearly took its toll.

 

What? Me Guilty?
What? Me Guilty?

He apparently was entitled to some sports memorabilia. And, after he turned out to be blood spattered and running away but yet somehow innocent in the accidental double-murder of his wife and her good friend (who was naked), Ron Goldman, he should have taken to life in government-subsidized housing (like, from Fannie Mae) and lived out his days in relative poverty . . . instead of trying to steal shizzle to sell and end up going to jail. Seriously, what kind of maroon does something like this?

He ain’t as bad as Andrew Sullivan. But he’s close.

In others news, you searching on things like common factors, morse code, and lots different song lyrics. You can’t understand what them crazy kids is sing-a-lingin’ in that supposed music of theirs, either, huh? I’m guessing “common factors” and “morse code” (which a lot of you were misspelling as morris code–don’t they teach you nothin’ in school anymore?) were trivia questions on some TV show or radio contest. Your collective spontaneous interest in them otherwise makes no sense.

You know, I don’t watch it, but did Are You Smarter Than a 5th Grader come on last night? Those sounds like the kind of subjects Mr. You Might Be a Redneck touches on.

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