Holy Crap! Steve Jobs Had a Heart Attack?

What? Oh? Apparently not. Shame on you, Internets, for scaring me with this malicious false story of a Steve Jobsian Heart Attackiveness.

Jobs is a God among men. He is an Immortal. He cannot die, or the very fabric of the universe will be ripped apart! But Steve does need to eat some damn meat. Get that boy a cheeseburger, pronto!
Jobs is a God among men. He is an Immortal. He cannot die, or the very fabric of the universe will be ripped apart! But Steve does need to eat some damn meat. Get that boy a cheeseburger, pronto!

Rumors of His Jobness’s death remain greatly exaggerated.

You’re also scaring me with all this Wells Fargo, Wachova Merger stuff. My mortgage is with Wells Fargo. They’re going to turn into Wachovia? And then what? All banks merge into one financial singularity, all the money disappears down a black hole, and it is truly the End of Days? Seems more and more possible, doesn’t it?

You’re also hot on Mary Mack this morning. She musta been on Stern.

Mary Mack mustve been on Stern this morning, or something, cuz you Internets is searching her up like crazy.
Mary Mack must’ve been on Stern this morning, or something, cuz you Internets is searching her up like crazy.

More, later, you scary, naughty Internets.

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