Won Jeong Hwa: Sexy Super Spy. Plus, David Alan Grier celebrates National Grouch Day.

Wong Jeong-Hwa is in the news, having been a secretly sexy spy passing sexy secrets to the North Koreans.

Oops. That's Woo Jeon Hwa, not Won Jeong Hwa. An honest mistake. I'm sure you'll forgive me.

 Okay, this is really her:

Okay, this is really Won Jeong-Hwa. Image says it’s not for public use, but it’s being used publically, so I will too.

Sexy Super Spy Won Jeong-Hwa has also inspired a bit of interest in the historical Mata Hari. She was a cutey, too.

Mata Hari was pretty cute, too. No wonder she was such a good spy.

Kind of makes you wish you knew some state secrets, so you could party with a sexy spy.

I wonder if we’ll waterboard her. In any case, waterboarding is also in the news, as it turns out. The Whitehouse endorsed waterboarding in secret memo.

Volunteer is Waterboarded. Next, he can sue the government for torture AND the local utility for producing water. John Edwards has already expressed interest in taking the case, and channeling the waterboarding victim's ghost, even though he's still alive and in perfect health.

The tragedy. It would have been much better if we just gave terrorists a cup of tea and sent them on their merry way to blow something up. No doubt, that’s what the Obamarama Administration will do, so we’ll see the results of that philosophy very soon.

The World Trade Center. Better than waterboarding a terrorist, ain't it?

You’re also searching for 53. Seriously, the top search this morning is a number? Is it because Obama is up 53% in some polls? That’s a weird way to search for it, but whatever.

David Alan Grier. He's a funny dude.

David Alan Grier is starring in a new sketch comedy show, The Chocolate News, which is sorta like SNL’s Weekend Update, but with an African-American point of view. David Alan Grier was also in David Zucker’s recent love-letter to American troops throughout history, An American Carol.

It's National Grouch Day. Oscar says: "It's just another rotten day." Also, it turns out Oscar loves trash and pollution, so he's voting Republican in November. "Those are some politicians a grouch can relate to," he was quoted as saying.

And it’s National Grouch Day. Or, what I call “Pretty Much Every Day.”

Sarah Palin Debate Flowchart Makes Jenny Rivera Do a Sex Video . . . Plus An American Carol

Man, you people are hot on the Jenny Rivera sex tape. Not sure why.

Jenny Rivera, seriously? Come on, Internets. Come on.

You’re also still on the Sarah Palin Debate Flowchart. I already covered that, peeps. Done and done.

You’re also on about An American Carol. I’ve already covered that, too.

Get with the program, Internets.

In other news, my head hurts. I need some pain relievers. Bless you, Internet. The headache you causes, you taketh away.

Snowboarding on the USS Grunion

The USS Grunion. Ain’t Exactly Pretty.

You Internets is sure interested in the USS Grunion.  What an unpleasant name for a piece of military hardware. Sank in 1942, she was discovered i the Berring Sea in 2006. A memorial is planned.

On the other hand, I know why you’re all into and over those Burton Snowboards. Cuz they got Playboy models all over ‘em.

Burton’s New Snowboard Line Features Sexy Ladies. And What’s Wrong With That? Much Better than Featuring Grunions.

 

In other news, David Zucker’s American Carol is out today. David Zucker did the original Airplane! and Top Secret! and a bunch of other classic 80s and 90s parodies. If you’re a right wing nut job, then you should find it funny. If you’re a left wing nut job, I’m predicting you won’t like it and plan on spamming Rotten Tomatoes with negative ratings and reviews, sight unseen.

John Voight ain’t trying to look like he’s Angelina Jolie’s Grandmother. He’s George Washington, ya dumb arses. And Kelsey Grammer is Patton.

And since Voight is Angelina Jolie’s papa, why not include a pic of her, too? Sounds Good to me.

Angelina Jolie. Perpetually hot.

Interesting Things You Peoples are Looking For This Fine Afternoon

Like Kevin Farley. Good for you. No doubt you are thinking about An American Carol by the fabulously funny David Zucker, he of Airplane, Top Secret and The Naked Gun fame.

You looking for Little Diomede? In Alaska? Still trying to harass Palin? Get over it, haters.

In other news, Ziggs is mega-searching Google to jack themselves up as being this super searched term. Even though they aren’t. Except by them. No other way both the phrases “find out who is googling you” and “find out who is googling me” and “ziggs” and “ziggs.com” are all getting to the top. Flump you, Ziggs. You always were an asshole.

The real yous out there seem actually interested in The Lollipop Building. I’m guessing you’re finding out it’s not something perverted and sexual, like you hoped.