Obama Goes Negative; Runs Scathing Anti-McCain Ads

I knew the man couldn’t hold himself back anymore.

Obama Runs Constructive Criticism Ad Against McCain

Phish? That Many of You Really Care about Phish?

So, you people on the Internets this morning are all interested in Phish. Or a Phish Reunion. Boring, but true.

You’re also looking for info about Gwen Awful–I mean, Gwen Ifill, an Obama shill who apparently has a financial interest in Obama winning the election, who is the impartial objective moderator of tomorrow night’s presidential debate. Can I predict what you’ll be looking for tomorrow night? You’ll be The Googling “who won the vp debate” and “vp debate polling” and “sarah palin debate” and stuff like that. Sometimes, you’re kind of predictable, Internets.

Jennifer Miller Got a Little Rowdy at a Hotel. Not the first time that’s happened, I’m sure.

You’re also curious about one Jennifer Miller. Cuz she’s been in some kind of hotel dustup. Boring.

Be more exicting, Internets. I gotta go to the dentist. I expect you to have been more interesting by the time I get back.

 

Elisabeth Hasselbeck and Tim Hasselbeck: Is This The Same Story?

Not quite sure, but you Internetsers are sure looking for the both of them. Elisabeth Hasselbeck is annoyed by the liberals on “The View”. Like, duh.

Nothing is going on with Tim Hasselbeck. Whatchu people care about ‘em for?

 

This is the Tim and the Elisabeth, Apparently. What you so interested in them for?

I can guess why you’re interested in Ashley Force. She’s a looker.

 

Yeah, Ashley Force is cute. And she’s got a great name. But what suddenly piqued your interest, Internets? Tell me that.

 

You Nasty Internets! Nude Sarah Palin Paintings? Puh-leeese.

Right now, everybody is looking for Tara Grinstead. Maybe this was why the poor Amber alert girl was a meme yesterday. Though Tara is apparently a lot older. Also, she’s been missing since 2005. That’s usually not a good sign, but I hope they find her.

This is Tara:

Tara Grinstead is missing. Apparently, she’s a popular meme today. Maybe that means they’ve found something out. Hope it’s good news, but I don’t know yet.

 

 

 Why are you so interested in Windsteam Email? Must’ve been a news story I missed. I do that a lot, apparently.

I’m not showing the badly painted nude portrait of Sarah Palin at the Old Towne Ale House in Chicago. An Obama supporter painted it . . . and had his daughter pose nude for the really bad painting. Ewww. Just, ewww. You Internets, why are you so interested in that?

UPDATE: Much Better Picture of a Nude Sarah Palin Here. Definitely NOT SAFE FOR WORK!

Like Dan Rather might say: Fake, but accurate.

The rest is all sports peoples and things like the mark to market definition. Haven’t you figured that out yet?

 

Burning Down The House: Them Crazy Democratics!

Oh, no they din’t!

Oh, yez they dids!

Watch it and weeps, Internets. Watch it and weeps as you learn the terrible, terrible, terrible truth, while you’re searching for bailout and house roll call and whatnots, learn what really actually happened. And how the magical politics of DC screws us all. Again and again.

Be afraid, Internets. Be very afraid.

It’s Morning (of Doom!) In America. We’re Talking HR 7175 Here. And the Vril Society. Oooo, Scary, Internets

What, nobody cares about hot chicks on the Inter-Tubes in the morning? But you’re still all into the Vril Society?

Okay, weirdos. Whatever. 

Your priorities are all mess up. Just saying.

The Pelosi speech I guess I can see why you all keep looking for it. Even The Guardian over there in Old Britania is more busy writing about that the Princess Charles latest hairstyle. 

But HR 3997? Isn’t that awfully wonky, political-geeky for you? And look at you! Also big into HR 7175. What the heck is that? On Motion to Suspend the Rules and PassSmall Business Financing Improvements Act of 2008, that’s what The Google is telling me. That doesn’t sound promising. Apparently, I can find out how the people voted, but not what it all means. And I guess that’s why you’re looking for it, too. Well, sorry, Internets, but we’re on the same boat this time.

Go look for it on THOMAS. Maybe it will get there. If the government isn’t trying to hide something.

You are all still on about the Terrell Owens controversy, whatever it is. Why do you people care so much about the football? You’re suppose to care about computer geekery and women who dress like elves and superhero chicks. In fact, here’s seventeen girls dressed up like Supergirl. That’s what you Internets are supposed to be looking at, not HR 666 and Terrell “The Boring Football Guy” Owens or Nancy “The Blabber” Pelosi speeches. Jeeze, you people.

Is She Not Like the Hottest Supergirl Ever. I Love Her. This is What You Internets Ought To Be All About This Morning. Not Nancy-frumpin-Pelosi. Sheesh.

Other stuff you’re all about this morning? Bailout Vote! Bailout Fail! Bailout Bill! The economy is crashing. What you gonna do? Nothing. Look at the Supergirl up there. That’s all you got, Internets. That’s all you got now.