The Sarah Palin Troopergate report is out. And it’s a doozy. How’s this for a story non-story?
Sarah Palin found Guilty of Acting Legally and Properly In the Troopergate Scandal. Only in America. Only before an election. And only if it's a conservative being investigated.
So, according to the guy investigating her, Sarah Palin is guilty of abuse of power. His finding?
Governor Palin’s firing of Commissioner Monegan was a proper and lawful exercise of her constitutional and statutory authority to hire and fire executive branch department heads.
Trooper Wooten received all the workers’ compensation benefits to which he was entitled.
And the real problem? The final finding.
The Attorney General’s office has failed to substantially comply with my August 6, 2008 written request to Governor Sarah Palin for infomration[sic] about the case in the form of emails.
The main issue is that the guy investigating Palin wasn’t happy that he felt he wasn’t getting everything he asked for. He was personally offended. He wasn’t given the respect he felt he deserved. And, so, Sarah Palin was guilty of an abuse of power! Awesome. Too bad nothing like that kind of standard applies to those crazy Democratics. But, hey, that’s America. She did everything legally, properly, and–given Trooper Wooten’s record–she acted with tremendous restraint. But she’s a conservative Republican, so she’s guilty!
Um, All Hail Our Grand and Glorious Leader, Obamarama! Seriously, I’m all down with you. I don’t want to go to no camp after the election.
Sarah Palin is Guilty. Of Stealing My Heart.
Ah, you didn’t read the report correctly. Branchflower found that Palin violated Alaska state ethics statutes by using her political position for personal gain. That was the primary thrust of the investigation: Whether she had improperly used her office to fire Wooten. The firing of Monegan was done according to law — as he serves at her pleasure — but Monegan’s failure to fire Wooten was specifically cited by Branchflower as contributing to his dismissal.
Branchflower found worker’s comp processes in order. He could not comment on the fourth finding because Palin and the attorney general would not comply. So that was a non-issue.
Ah, you didn’t read the report correctly. Branchflower found that Palin violated Alaska state ethics statutes by using her political position for personal gain.
Nah. I read it right. Branchflower found that Palin violated Alaska state ethics because he said so. The findings that everything was legal and straightforward and upstanding proves it, my friend. The report might as well has said: “Sara Palin is guilty because we want her to be, and it is politically expedient at this moment to say that she is. And we don’t like her. Technically, yes, she’s completely innocent, but that’s not the point.”
I got to the nut of it. I exposed it’s truthiness.