Penthouse Pets and Bailout Bill Pork

Wassup, Internets? This morning, you seem to be very interested in one Cassia Riley, 2006 Penthouse Pet of the Year. You never disappoint me, Internets! Well, you do sometimes, but not this morning.

Cassia Riley, Penthouse Pet Runner-Up. It was hard to find a picture of her with clothes on.

So what’s the deal, people? Not much about her in the news. Was she on Howard Stern? That seems to be a common reason for morning Googloddities.

My Internetin’ peeps are also all up on the bailout pork in the latest senate bill. Can’t say I blame ya. Michelle Malkin talks bailout pork right here, and she’s always a good one to check out cuz she’s hot, and this is the Age of the Internets.

Sarah Palin is still my one true forever-ever love. But Michelle’s a cutey. There’s no denying it.

But she’s hardly the only one calling “Pork!” on the bailout bill. Snarkfood says the bailout bill is stuffed with pork. 222zenwizard says senate bill is loaded with bizarre pork. American Thinker notes that there’s bailout pork for Hollywood! You’re tax dollars at work, pipples. Hard at work.

House Peter’s, Jr., the Original Mr. Clean for Proctor and Gamble, dies at 92. You’re very interested in that this morning, and I bet none of you had any idea who House Peters was before this morning.

This is House Peters as Sharkman, not Mr. Clean. But You can see the resemblance.

 

Sellout.woot? Some kind of sell you crap blog? Seriously? Okay, Internets. Whatever. You are apparently very easily amused.

Kindergarten Killer? Now, I like me some games and some off-color humorisms, but that’s just in bad taste, people. Very bad taste. But since you got very bad taste, of as of the time I’m posting this, you can still play that nasty game here.

The sad and ugly store of Brooke Bennett continues, and I don’t blame you for wanting to know about it. It’s a sad and ugly story.

Brooke and her (alleged) Murderer Michael Stephen Jacques. Who was also her Uncle. This fellow was a piece of work. A creepy, evil piece of work.

In lighter news, Nikki Blonsky apparently kicked some America’s Top Model contestant in an airport. America’s celebrity culture is filled with some class acts, I tell you what.

Fat Chick from Hairspray Movie (the musical one, not the one with Ricki Lake) kicks some skinny chick. Big Girlz got a Temper!

Steve Fossett Found? Apparently, his plane wreckage has been discovered. If he faked his own death, he did a really good job of it, up to and possibly including killing himself for real. A very meta way to go about it, if so.

Dayne Arokium is apparently very interesting this morning. Apparently, he some sort of stewardess on Jet Blue, or was until he started doing sexy dances for the ladies.  For some reason, Google says these searches have something to do with Christina Applegate. Don’t know why, yet. But that’s okay, good enough reason to find a pic of her, anyhows.

Christina is So Excited about Dayne Aprobium. No, Abercrombienfitch. Shiznits, Whatever His Damn Name Is. Or Not. But apparently you Googles got some inside goods on how he knows about naked pictures of Christina Applegate.

Gotta go drain the baddabing-a-da-doo. Shout at ya later, Internetz.